Memories
by Claire211
Summary: Bella witnesses the murder of her parents,she is also almost killed as well.Edward has a dark past as well.He cant seem to forget what he did.Can these two help each other to forget the past and make new memories.Rated M for a reason
1. Prologue

**Okay I have never written fan fiction before so I guess you could call me a virgin here,the idea of this story was started by a friend of mine so I decided to use it as a Twilight fic with her permission of course, here is the prologue it's not much, but hey I've never written before so be nice and let me know what you think so far?. I'm afraid I wont be updating as fast as others do as all this is still new to me, but I want to do the story justice so please hang in there okay.**

**Memories**

**Prologue **

He just gazed at me like I had a grown a third head.

"Why wont you let me in?",even after what we have been through the past 2 months."

What was I supposed to say?. Sure enough, I knew what I was feeling for him now I was in love with him, but at the same time I was scared of losing someone I loved. I was afraid of still letting him in,after witnessing what that fucker did to my Parents can you blame me.

He ran his hands through his bronze locks,waiting anxiously for my answer.

"Edward you know I want to let you in, but this is something I have to work out on my own,my own fucked up heart and mind needs time,I'm sorry I really am could you please just give me more time?"

"You know I'm only asking you to let me in because I care don't you?"he looked so sincere and heart broken at that moment,it was almost too hard to resist him,but my heart and mind just wasn't ready yet.

He filled the distance between us, intertwining my hands with his,

"This shit is just so fucked up Bella,what ever this is between us we cant let our pasts destroy our futures,for fuck sake."I have already let you in on my fucked up life and believe me it was fucked up till you came,I made mistakes that is unforgivable.

I know that but I'm trying for us".  
I unclasped our joined hands and brought one of them up to stroke his cheek and used my other hand to bring his face level to mine.

"Look into my fucking eyes and tell me what you see in them?, I am being sincere but my heart and mind just aren't ready yet".he brought my face towards his and smashed his lips to mine ,I barely had time to register my own thoughts. This kiss was less rougher than the other ones we shared,more slower,with more emotion and passion he was trying to show me what words couldn't,I instantly melted,he brought his hands to my waist and started backing me in to the nearest wall,our kisses began to get more heated and I could only concentrate on the warmth of his body against mine,my hands found their way into his hair. Pulling on it for dear life, it was then the memories of what happened that night came flashing through my mind.

My Whole body instantly tensed up, I began shaking,the images playing through my mind like a god damned movie. My breathing was out of fucking control by now I couldn't do anything in that moment,my legs,arms everything were frozen.  
All I could hear before everything went black was Edwards tear stained and panicked voice.


	2. Chapter 1

**Bpov**

Blood Fucking blood!,it's the same every night.I close my eyes and its there over the floor,the walls,my mom Renee and Stepdad Phil.i remember clearly the day and time it happened it was Family night, one of Moms crazy would take it in turns every Friday to choose an activity or movie,that the three of us could join in with.  
And this particular Friday Phil,had chosen persuasion,I had just returned home from another gruelling day at Phoenix High School,it was a warm day as usual.  
I remember clearly entering our small house,it was'nt that big but it was home,at least i thought it was at the time.I yelled out my usual hello's like i always did,Mom and Phil usually answered but on this day they didn't,i really thought nothing of it at the time as it was not unusual for them not to be in.i headed straight for the Kitchen to start on supper like i always did as Renee couldn't cook for shit.i had taken over the cooking duties from a young age as it was deemed neccessary in order not to starve,i didn't mind one bit though, as i really enjoyed getting lost in my own little world whilst cooking.I was really good at it as well.I pulled out all of the ingredients i had needed for Fried chicken,it was then i had heard some movement in Phil and my Moms room i yelled to the direction of the sound that supper was almost done and that it would be done in an hour,but there was still no voices from either of them although i could still hear movement coming from their bedroom.I decided to check it out any way their door was opened slightly,there was someone definatley in there i pushed the door open i can clearly remember that.I was expecting to see either the face of Mom or Phil, but as i opened the door all the way my life changed forever in that Moment,the first thing i saw was a pair of angry Blue eyes staring right back at me,i recognised them,he was all i saw at first although when i had been around him before his eyes had always looked so sincere and gentle i felt no threat from him, as he had been our family friend for as long as i could remember,but looking into them same pair of eyes at that moment,had me frozen on the spot from where i had been standing.  
It seemed like i was looking into those eyes a long time,that i failed to notice the knife he had in his hands,that alone snapped me out of the trance i seemed to be in,it was then i could smell it alot,my breathing was starting to get erratic i quickly began to look for the source of the smell, it wasn't too hard to find,i knew what the smell was before i saw it my vision was getting distorted,but i needed to keep it together i frantically looked around the room and there it was plastered all over the walls,at first i thought he had just thrown some pigs blood around to scare me.  
But it wasn't, there on the ground beside the bed was Phil covered in so much blood, i could feel the familiar wetness seeping from my eyes,i was feeling beyond sick at that point.  
I then saw my Moms Body curled up in a fetal position on the opposite side of the room from Phil,only she seemed to be more covered in blood than was the look in her eyes that haunted me to the very bone,i was frozen,i wanted to scream,i needed to scream, but i was unable to get my body to do what my mind was thinking.i dont know how long i was there trying to catch my breath and trying my very best not to pass of nowhere i felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen,i was aware of something warm dripping out of me,that alone was enough to bring me from my frozen trance,those angry blue eyes were staring right at me and that was the last thing i remembered, before the Blackness too me under.

Beep....Beep....Beep.  
That was the next sound i remembered.  
So here i am at 2am in the fucking morning trying to forget those blue has been six months since it happened,im still like a fucking nervous wreck,that day changed everything for me in more ways than one.I have been through so much damn therapy its not last therapist Alec,i think his name was would sit me down for hours in his office asking me time and time again about about the same fucking things,in the end i told him where to shove his shit as i know, no matter how many god damn fucking doctors,therapists they throw at me no one can help me.I fucking have a panic attack if any guy just comes near was no way i was going to be able to try and go back to sleep,i decided i might as well start packing all of my belongings,did i mention i was being shipped off to my dad Charlies,hometown in the middle of god damn was decided by my Moms Best friend Charlotte,who has been looking after me for the past 6 months.I have to admit it has been hard putting up with my fucked up existence,i had no fucking choice in the matter it was Charlies or a state home,i chose he first heard i was coming he was more than willing to have his daughter come and stay with him,truth be told i have nothing against my dad,but i hardly know the fucking bloke.I have only ever spent 2 weeks in the summer of every year till i was 12 with him,so you can say we are not exactly packing up what little belongings i own, as i left all the memories of that house there Photos,dvds,knick knacks that remind me of just too painful for me,although i did keep one photo it was of all three of us outside the Baseball Stadium where Phil had just been signed,it was one of my fave memories,i carry it round with me like a lifeline of another time when i was happy even normal.  
Charlie has already enrolled me in Forks high,I received the brochures two days ago,ill be leaving for the airport in just under 2 hours.  
I boarded the plane to forks as scheduled,making sure to sit away from people as much as last thing i needed was a god damned Fucking panic attack whilst in the air i would never live that down,The pilot's voice came over the intercom advising everyone on the plane to fasten their seat belts,as the plane is about to take off.I flipped out my Ipod from my backpack and began scrolling through my various playlists i had on there,when i was satisfied with my choice i flipped the ear buds in and began to get lost in the music,in a way music was my only salvation these days a way to escape my fucked up life .i guess you could say even through all the shit i was suffering from,there was a small part of me that is still nervous about living with Charlie,would he fussover me like everyone else had been doing since it happened,watch me to see if i would do anything stupid,like kill myself..like that was going to happen anytime soon i tried that shit once and failed.  
I took a moment to inspect my self.I wasn't a runway model or anything like that,i didnt have fake boobs like most of the girls you see these days all acrylic nails and fake tanned.  
I have however,long brown hair that went down to my waist and always curled at the ends,Deep chocolate brown eyes and very pale skin.I was born a klutz and over the years i have had that many trips to the Er, for broken bones and various other all in all you would call a Plane sound of the intercom brought me out of my Daydream and self loathing to announce they were about to Land at Sea Tac Air port,Seattle the first stop towards Forks.

Okay who do you think those blue belong to?  
this is the first me know what you all think,as i said im new to this whole fan fiction thing chapters will be in both Edwards and Bellas Pov although the first 2 chapters wiill be Bella,as im trying to get a bit of her backstory and current living arrangements out of the way.


	3. Chapter 2

**Bpov**

As agreed Charlie was waiting for me at the airport,he knew to keep his distance as not to trigger one of my attacks, so he settled for a quick hello and how are you?.I guess you could say there was no more than two words spoken between the two of us, he did carry my luggage though,that is because i was too fucking tired Jetlag can be a real bitch,especially when you dont get enough sleep as it is,another thing that surprised me is that Charlie had not brought his police cruiser,for that i was grateful for.I forget to mention he was the dear old chief of police in Forks,i guess so, he has always been the chief there for as long as i can remember which is not much.

There was a lingering silence as we approached the airport car park,Charlie walked ahead and i just followed on behind,he stopped at a blue Sedan it looked quite new but i couldn't be sure.I knew next to nothing about cars ,only how to drive the fuckers,he held open the passenger side door open for me i quickly climbed in still remaining silent,he then made his way around to the drivers side, the drive to Forks was surrounded in our constant silence,neither one of us attempting to speak Charlie,finally broke the silence after it seemed to last forever."Im really glad to have you back with me Bells,if there is anything you need? please dont hesitate to ask".

I didnt say anything,I just continued to remain silent what was i to say?. what could i say?,I was too fucked up to even try to answer that,the ride to Forks remained quite after Charlies little talk we finally pulled up outside the familiar looking two storey white house,by the looks of it nothing had been changed since the last time i was here and that was now five years ago,his cruiser was parked in the yard, it stood out amongst the rest of the neighbourhood cars like a big fucking neon sign.

I slumped my way out of the car, Charlie grabbed my belongings from the car and headed towards the house with me in tow behind ,making sure i averted all eye contact with him.

Once i was finally settled in what he called my room,if you could fuckin call it that, it hadnt changed neither,paintings i had done from my younger years were hung up all over the walls photos from me being a baby upwards still adourned the old dresser,the only thing that seemed to be diffrent was the god damn bedding,purple and blue stripes ran all the way down it with a few flowers to top off the pattern at the top and bottom and there was a pillow case to match.I was too tired to unpack anything tonight,but i knew i needed a shower from travelling on that stuffy plane all day,i quickly made my way to the box i knew had all my clothes in and pulled out a clean tee,some panties and old sweats for bed it was my first offical day at Forks High tomorrow but i was just to damn fuckin tired to pull anything out to wear for tomorrow,i quietly made my way to the bathroom which was located next to my bedroom and was the only one in the house,I had my own bathroom back in Phoenix so i wasnt used to sharing one but in this case i had no fucking choice, making sure the door was locked.

I started the water adjusting it to a temperature i was happy with,i then stripped out of my dirty clothes and tossed them in the hamper in the corner of the bathroom.I stepped in to the warm heaven letting the water cascade down my body,Charlie must have been to the store as there was some unused shampoo,Okay im fucked up but i give credit when its due and right now Charlie deserved that, it was my favourite strawberry scented one.I was too scared to look at my body, while i washed as that fucker had left his mark for life on me and a constant reminder of what happened,before i knew it i was on the floor,trembling while the water was still running over me the images playing over and over again like a fucking movie.

I dont know how long i was there for,i wasnt even aware that the water was now stone cold and i was shivering like i dont know what.

Somewhere between, my breakdown and the shower I could hear knocking on the bathroom It was Charlie his voice was distorted at first, as i could not hear him over the running water and my uncontrolable breathing.I managed to get my self under control in time to hear some of what he was saying,"im off to bed Bells,school starts at 8.30 so you need to be up,you can drive the Sedan there as i have work at 6 in the morning, so you will be on your own,night Kiddo".

"Okay dad goodnight" replying in the most calm and convincing voice i could muster,considering i was on the shower floor in all my glory,shaking and trembling, finally getting my breathing back to normal and all my bodily functions working,i turned the cold water off and stepped out, I wrapped myself in the towel that was hanging in the room finally feeling warm enough to get dressed, i grabbed my clothes and quickly threw all of them on and making a beeline for my room once i was inside i made sure to lock the door again,It wasn't that i didn't trust Charlie,It had be come a habit, a way of making me feel a bit safer.I practically sprinted into bed pulling the covers with me.I was too afraid to even try to fall asleep,but my fuckin eyelids were winning the battle from all the jetlag i was still suffering from,i finally fell into a deep slumber.

I awoke from another fuckin dream,scratch that, the same fucking dream, the same angry blue eyes staring right at me,i was literally trembling, covered in sweat, my hair was matted to my face and i was crying like a fuckin baby,i rubbed my eyes trying to clear my vision, i glanced at the alarm clock to the right hand side of my bed the digital display registered four in the fuckin morning there was offically no way i was going back to sleep.

I groaned as i realized the only other thing i could do is start unpacking what little belongings i had. Hours later i had everything put away clothes,cds,books, as i fuckin love reading that is another escape method for me.

At six o clock,i heard Charlies cruiser pulling out of the driveway,signalling i was on my own.I quickly dressed in some black jeans, white tee and a black hoody,its not like i was dressing to impress.I didnt give a fuck what people thought about my fashion sense,topping the out fit off with my favourite pair of Chucks i was done,then quickly running a brush through my hair i was ready.I made my way into the kitchen to seek out something to eat,there wasn't much choice as i dont think Charlie was used to shopping for groceries.I settled on some cereal and a Granola bar i found,glancing at the clock it registered as 8am.I made my way back up to my room to grab my back pack and during the night Charlie had left the keys to the sedan and a note on my bedside table that fucker must have a key to my room as well,I grabbed them making my way downstairs again.

Forks High School,in bold white writing was staring right at me.I was currently parked in the school parking lot,just staring at the silly fucking sign in front of me,I was trying to get my breathing even before it turned into a full blown panic attack,i glanced around the building in front of me it wasn't as big as my last school in Phoenix, after giving my self a damn pep talk,I headed towards the school entrance,there didn't seem to be many people around so that was helping my situation a bit.I quietly made my way to the place they call a school reception,after what seemed like forever an elderly looking woman with grey hair hair approached me her badge read Mrs Cope,I didnt need to say anything as the first thing that come out of her mouth was "you must be Isabella Swan?,your father told us to be expecting you today."After giving me a map of the school and what looked like a schedule for my classes i said a polite goodbye,not wanting to diverse in much more conversation than neccessary.

I glanced down at my schedule it read i had Advanced English Literature,Advanced Biology,Calculus and WTF? Gym?.Are these idiots crazy did Charlotte and my dad not explain that Gym was a no go,because i dont think these pricks got the correct memo.

I decided to suck it up all i needed to do was find my first fucking lesson,which happened to be English Lit my favourite lesson.I was absent mindedly looking at this stupid thing they call a map, when i heard my name being called I slowly looked up from the offending piece of paper, the voice belonged to some Chinese dude with black hair and glasses."You must be Isabella Swan?,Chief Swans daughter?".

"Yes" it came out as more of a whisper as i still wasn't comfortable round people,i kept my head down averting all eye contact from him,whilst he carried on with his conversation. "I can show you around school if you'd like?,i forgot to mention my names Eric,if you need anything ?i mean anything? don't hesitate to ask".It didnt escape my notice his double meaning of the word,I was about to let him down when he took a step towards me,i automatically flinched on instinct not wanting him any where closer,I tenderly took a step back from him,he still didnt get the hint,i forcefully said"I'll be fine, if you could just point me the in the right direction to English with Mrs Jones then i will be okay from there".

He finally got the hint and told me where to go,thank fuck for that. The vibe that dude was carrying around creepy, just thinking about his vibe made me shudder,I just hope i don't have the pleasure of bumping into him again too soon.I found Mrs Jone's class in no amount of time ,i handed her the slip that needed to be be signed at the end of every class i was to attend this week.I quickly scanned the room looking for somewhere to sit,unfortunatley the only empty seat was next to a sickly looking blonde.

"Hi im Lauren", she harped as i approached.  
"You so have to be Chief Swans daughter as you look like him,i thought you would prettier though".  
"Yes well i guess we cant all look like like skanks can we!" I seethed back,who did this bitch think she was? Miss America,that got her attention though,if looks could kill, then the look on her face was priceless.  
"Why you bitch she shrieked back."And faced towards the front of the class,i couldn't help but do a little victory dance in my head,that i had held myself together and not broken down, as that is the last thing i needed here for every body to see what a freak i was the rest of the lesson was relatively quiet,i did notice the death glares the blonde bitch kept giving me but i didn't give a shit.

Before i knew it half of the morning had passed without incident,for that I was grateful. It was now lunchtime i made my way to the Cafeteria in hopes of getting lunch and eating on my own out of the corner of my eye i could see someone watching me,i craned my neck carefully to the side and stared right back at her,the eyes belonged to a pixie like girl they were a piercing emerald colour,she had shoulder length black hair that was spiked slightly to each side of her face,her clothes looked like they had come straight from a fashion magazine,when she saw me looking she smiled and started dancing on the spot,i just rolled my eyes and carried on getting lunch.

I found an empty table at the back of the cafeteria,I pulled out my ipod from my backpack and a book and settled into my own little bubble,but that bubble was instantly gone when i felt someone tapping my shoulder,I instantly recoiled and ended up tipping the god damn chair over with me on it,luckily i was able to grab the table before i landed on the floor.I was doing a silent chant in my head.  
**"cant freak out now gotta keep calm gotta keep the fuck calm".**

I was brought out of my inner thoughts to the sound of a voice clearing their throat and rather nasally at that,i looked up to see the blonde bimbo from English,she was with two other girls whom i vaguely recognise from each of the lessons i had earlier,the taller of the three girls,had long brown hair pulled back into a pony tail and she was wearing glasses she gave me what i assumed was a timid smile and not wanting to be too rude i smiled back the smaller girl beside her had waist length blonde hair,like the other skank,Lucy,Lacy or whatever the fuck she said her name was,only hers was a shade darker so you could tell it was bleached, she just stood there chewing gum,throwing death glares directly at me,obviously whats her face told her friend what i had said to her in English.

I gave them the stare, that clearly said what the fuck do you want?,blonde bimbo was the first to speak,

"Is it okay if we join you?",before i could decline she had already made her self comfortable in the chair across from me,the other two girls followed suit each taking a seat at either side of her .The smaller girl finally broke the silence as well "Im Jessica nice to meet ya,Lauren has told me so much about you".  
What the fuck is it with the brain dead skanks in this school,I'd only said a couple of fucking words to this Lauren bitch and shes going round telling her fucking friends she knows all about me,i decided to swallow my fucking pride and be polite.

"Hi im Isabella,but i prefer Bella nice to meet you".

There i can be polite,she just continued talking about random things and shit i wasn't really paying any interest,i just couldn't fucking wait till lunchtime was over so i could make my fuckin escape from these twits,although i have to admit the tall brown haired girl just sat there the whole time not really bothering me,sure she would smile now and then but for some reason she knew not to push me into talking,which was cool with me.I finally released a long sigh when the bell finally rang,i quickly grabbed my ipod and book and placed them back in my backpack,i was about to make a hasty exit when the blonde bimbos voice interupted me sounding more like a bad case of the flu.

"Remember us if you need some friends ,then next time try and fuckin be polite to me bitch".Seriously what the fuck is this bitch on?,or was she seriously born this way.I just smiled sweetly and made my exit as fast as possible,not wanting to be near those two crazy bimbos any longer.I retrieved my schedule from my backpack and it noted i had Biology next ,another favourite lesson of mine and it was with a Mr Banner,it didnt take that long to find as it was only a corridor down from the cafeteria.I suddenly felt a wave of nervousness running through me as i entered the class,all eyes were on me, of course they would be im the new girl.I handed Mr Banner my slip to be signed and he assigned me to an empty desk at the back of the room,for which i was grateful for.

I made no effort to make any eye contact with anyone,although i could feel them staring at me wondering what the mystery is surrounding the chiefs daughter,what brought her here?.I was brought out of my reverie by Mr Banner handing out lesson plans,i glanced at it,but i recognized the work already as i had already done it in Phoenix.I filled in all the correct answers in no time,leaving me with just over half an hour of the lesson left, i reached down for my back pack to retrieve my ipod as i was doing so, I heard the chair beside me being shoved open and some one literally slamming their whole weight down on it...

**_Okay sorry to leave it at that, but i wanted to do the rest of this particular scene to continue in Epov,his chapter is up next but it will be a bit about his backstory and current living arrangements before i get back to the continuation of Biology in his pov.  
I am still in need of a beta,so if anyone is willing to be one for me or if you know of anyone it would greatly appreciated..._**


	4. Chapter 3

_A**N/Thanks to two lovely People for my first reviews,It means alot to still looking for a beta.  
First of all i would like to say i do not own Twilight ,It belongs to the awesome Stephenie,i just wanted to use them for my first fic.  
So here is Edwards Pov,i warn you he tends to have alot more to say than Bella,i dont have all the answers for this story but i will try to address all the issues thats needed for the will be lemons but not just yet as i want to slowly develop Bella and Edwards Friendship/Relationship and this is the first time i have ever written anything so please hang on in there with me.**_

**Epov**

"Damn,shit,Motherfuckers!,"screw them all.  
What do they know about fucking life and lesson shit?.I'll tell you nothing,I don't know why im even in this shitty fucking school,this dead beat fucking town,all you can see for miles around is trees fucking trees and that is saying something,the only good thing about this shitty town is that you can run like the motherfucking wind, into the woods and be by yourself which is how i fucking prefered lately.

I was brought to this shitty town on Carlisle Cullen's,request my everloving adopted father and his wife Esme,they adopted me at the age of 14 from a group home in Chicago,ahh Chicago that was my home,I had friends there,a home and a family till it all went the fuck wrong,my life was pretty much normal for a 14 year old,I was a big time soccer player,popular in school,got good grades and had a sister that i worshipped,Tanya, was her name she was 3 years younger and the apple in my fathers eye she had strawberry blonde curls,my fathers blue eyes and my mothers skin, where as I had my fathers hair and my mothers green eyes,we were complete opposites but she was my best friend and confidont,she was so grown up and so wise beyond her 11 years we shared everything with each other, there were no secrets between us.

My Father Edward Mason Snr,was a successful and well respected business man,he worked in stocks and shares,he had made his first million by the time he was twenty,by the time he was thirty he was a god damned Billionaire.

He was ruthless in business but he always made large contributions to various charities.  
My Mother Elisabeth Mason,was successful PA to to some of Chicago's richest people,that was how she met my Father, he had needed a Personal Assistant and went through an agency to enquire about one and that so happened to be my moms agency,she was interviewed by my Father himself from the moment he had met her he was captivated by her, so much that he there and then asked her out on a date,she accepted,they were married six months later and two months in to the marriage she found out she was pregnant with me.  
She gave up her PA job to become a full time stay at home mom,she never regretted her decision i know that,from an early age i showed an interest in music,she enlisted me in piano lessons when i turned three,she also gave birth to Tanya that year and we were a family.

I remember when that happy family was torn away by fucking me.

I had recently gotten chummy with some of the local boys around the area where we lived.I thought it was so cool at first,being 14 and the centre off attention,every where we went girls would fawn over us,I had my first blowjob from a girl named Stacy,she was a beautiful redhead but also a bit of a flirt,we would stay out partying till all hours, the the leader of our little group was Paul he was a tall mother fucker and people knew better to keep on his good side or they would pay dearly with in an inch of his life, as he was a crazy mother fucker as well if he told you to do something you would do it with no questions asked,then there was Demetri ,Felix and Peter,they were all just as tall and as muscular as Paul,they all followed him round like lost puppies me too as they were my idols at the time, they looked out for me,i was tall as well but no way near as muscular but could hold pretty well in a fight which was a frequent occurance for for us

I started dabbling in drugs,getting high and drinking was our new pastime,but Paul was getting more ruthless wanting to try bigger and better stuff,at first i was all for it but it was starting to have an effect on my school work,my grades were slipping and both my parents were becoming concerned.I had even started blowing off football practice to hang out with Paul and the others,even my close relationship with with my sister was beginning to crumble,i was being more and more of an asshole to her and in the end we barely spoke two words to each other at the time I couldn't give a fuck i was going round doing my own thing why should i be bothered about what fucking people thought of me i had my crowd and that is all i needed.

The night it finally went wrong ill never forget,we had gone to a new club that had just opened up in Chicago.

Paul had some really shady contacts, they had come up with some fake Id cards for us all so we had no trouble getting in.A couple of hours later into the night we were pretty fucking drunk and high girls were hanging all over us like we were something special,the girl i had perched on my arm was a beautiful blonde i didnt catch her name as i was too incoherent at the time to remember,she had suggested we go somewhere a little more quieter and being in the frame of mind i was in,we went in to one of the public bathrooms,she made quick work of my clothes,I was there stood in front of her in all my glory,being the horny teenager i was,i stripped off her clothes eager to see what was underneath her clothes.I had never seen a girl naked before now, but i was too drunk to even be embarrassed,i will admit i was well endowned in that department for a teenager,before i knew it she was stroking my length and that was enough to send me into over drive not caring if i had hurt her i rammed into with such force, she banged her head against the wall we were perched up against,I pulled back out and thrust back in just as forcefully,she had her legs wrapped around my waist holding on for dear life,she was tugging forcefully on my hair and screaming my name as i continued pounding into her.I grabbed onto her waste tighter to steady myself,before i knew it i had reached my release and spilled into her, coming down from my high, I quickly began to retrieve my clothes.

* * *

I made my way back to the bar hoping to find Paul and the others,some of the alcohol and worn off ,so i was feeling somewhat sober.I couldn't spot the guys anywhere, making my way through the club through the crouds of dancing bodies hoping to catch a glimpse of them,but nothing ,i made my way outside thinking they had gone out to get high and shit,but the sight that greeted me would be forever buried in my mind there in the alley, was Paul,Felix and Demetri spilled out over the floor,there was blood everywhere,I raced over to where Paul was lying to check for a pulse but finding none I did the same for for Felix and Demetri still no pulses,I was in panic mode by then that i didnt spot Peter until it was too late,he was shouting at someone on the other side of the alleyway,i couldn't make out who,i quietly made my way down towards him,he didnt seem to notice me so i carried on towards him.I could finally here what he was shouting about.

"LIKE FUCK I WANT MY SHARE OF THE MONEY AS AGREED,I DID WHAT YOU ASKED?,GOT RID OF EM!! NOW PAY UP THAT WAS THE DEAL."

I was offically seething after processsing what i had just heard,he had killed all three of them why?i continued to listen.

"The deal was to get rid of all four of them and i only see three."The mystery guy said now i was offically seeing red,my blood was boiling,before i could register what the fuck i had done ,I had Peter pinned against the wall ,my fist was pounding his face like there was no tomorrow,i didnt have time to register the pain in my fists from pounding this motherfuckers face,It was the loud bang coming from behind me that brought me to my senses,I ceased what i was doing ,that mother fucker fell to the floor easily.I turned around to get a good fuckin look at the mystery man he was tall., had jet black hair slicked back into a pony tail,before i could register any of his other features he pulled out something from his jacket pocket,the last thing i remember before it all went black was a loud ear piercing bang.

But that wasnt the end of my fucked up mistakes ...

I dont remember how i got there but, i woke up in hospital with tubes attached to every part of my fucking body,a tube stuck down my god damned throat my body felt like it had been run over by fucking truck,i blinked twice trying to adjust my eyes to the new enviroment,there was a nurse checking my vitals i sputtered to get her attention,after the fifth attempt she finally noticed and came over to me.

After she had removed the tube from my mouth, positive enough that i could breathe on my mouth felt like sandpaper she had passed me some water to drink from a jug at the side of my bed,after gulping the cool liquid down my throat my I had felt better.

I asked the nurse if i could my see my parents knowing they would be worried sick about me,i was surprised not to find them in here with me already,she just stood there looking at me like i had fucking killed some one she knew,all the colour from her face drained out so fast i thought she was going to fucking faint,she darted out of the room at lightning speed.

After what seemed like forever a doctor came in followed by two other people,the doctor had striking white hair and blue eyes,he introduced himself as Dr Carlisle Cullen and that he had been treating my injuries for the past week.  
"injuries what fucking injuries?! i seethed.  
"Mr Cullen you were shot ,the bullet pierced your left artery and ventebre,all in all you are lucky to even be alive."I had gawked at him like a fucking fish,i wanted to see my god damn parents,thats when my other 2 visitors made them selves Known,both dressed in what looked like expensive suits.

"Mr Cullen, we are aware of your fragile state at the moment,but we are here to deliver some bad news,we are sorry to say this but your family were involved in a very serious car accident last week,im afraid there were no survivors,it happened when they were on their way to the hospital, after they had found out about your accident."That was when my whole life came crashing down on me. They had died trying to to come and see me it was my fucking fault they had gone ,It was my punishment, they had been nothing but loving and kind it had cost them there fucking lives because of me.I broke down,crying for my parents for my loving sister.I was in hospital for nearly three weeks, Dr Cullen had come in the third week and told me that my fathers employers had took care of all the arrangments for my parents and Tanyas funeral.I never attended.

I didnt deserve to i had killed them...

A few weeks after the funeral, i was released from hospital.I packed up everything i owned at the house and signed my self into a state home.I didnt want to stay at the house where we all lived,where we were all happy,i wanted to forget,at the home they didnt give a fuck who you were I learned that the easy way,I started doing drugs in hope of forgetting.I sneaked out at night,picking up random girls,getting high and fucking them all into oblivion.I didnt give a fuck about me,about Cullen came to visit me a few times and on the third Visit he had brought a small petite female with him,what i assumed was his wife,she was about 5ft 2inchs,had long caramel coloured hair and a heart shaped face but what got me was the expression on her face it was full of talked about stuff well rather they did,i just sat there and listened,I had looked into her face though and I could tell she was a very loving person and had a kind heart,they left two hours later. Stating they would come to see me again soon,I swear as soon as they had gotten up to leave i could see a single tear roll down her cheek,but i shrugged it off as i didnt need anybody feeling fucking sorry for me.

I was in the third month at the home when a man in a suitcase came to see introduced himself as Jason Jenks and said that he was a family lawyer and was working for the Cullens it was then he told me they had offically adopted me.I was fucking furious nobody had mentioned this shit to me and that he was also here to discuss my Inheritence.  
"Inheritence what fucking inheritance? I seethed.

"The inheritence your parents left you in their will."

I looked him dumbfounded,i was frozen not knowing what to say.I didn't deserve any fucking inheritence at all i had killed them.  
"I DONT WANT IT!.I yelled,"TAKE IT TO WHOMEVER NEEDS IT,I DONT WANT IT!".  
"I cant do that as it is legally bound all your father assetts,money and everything is accessable to you on the day of your 18th birthday,so im sorry there is nothing i can do about it."He in formed me in a stern voice and made me sign various adoption letters and those concerning my inheritence.I decided then and there if the Cullens wanted to adopt some one as fucked up as me then it would there undoing.

So here i am stuck in this hell hole,argueing with the asshat Principle of Forks High,what a prick,i got caught kicking ass of a senior on the football field after the fucker deliberatley tripped me up,Tyler fucking Crowley was his fucking name i had been fucking about with his skank of a girlfriend Lauren, it had some how got back to him, _yes news travels fast in this fucking place,_Lauren was a brainless skank and as thick as a short plank but she knew how to give a good fuck and blow job,_hey what can i say im human and i need a distraction in this fucking place_,she was supposed to be dedicated to Tyler but one crooked grin out of me and she was like a wild stallion riding me for all shes worth.

Then there was her other counterpart and wanna be twin Jessica fuckin Stanley,also as thick as a plank and as ditzy as a brush,id been hitting her pussy since i started this school,but unlike Lauren this bitch was real clingy, the first time we had fucked in the back of the gymnasium she went around telling everybody i was her fuckin boyfriend,i dont do skank as girlfriends i had told her,but the fucking bitch could not take a hint in the end i told her to go fuck her self.

* * *

I made my way to the cafeteria after my rather colourful conversation with the principle.I scanned the room for my adopted family,did i forget to mention that Carlisle already had children,2 boys and 2 girls

The oldest being Emmett he was a huge mother fucker and was a senior and on the basketball team, if i were to describe Emmett one word big fucking teddy there was Rosalie all out blonde bombshell,but fucking total bitch to me i couldn't stand her although we do have one thing in common and that is we are both adopted,She was adopted by Carlisle and Esme when she was very young her and her twin brother their mother was a lazy fucking drunk and their dad walked out on them when they were both very mother passed away from alcohol poisoning,so they were left orphans at the time and Carlisle was their doctor at the time,he didnt want them to end up in a state home, so he took them both in to live with him and Esme.

Now Jasper he looks the male version of his sister with wavy blonde hair and blue eyes,he has a calming aura around thats why he is my best friend and never fucks with me and knows when the hell to leave me there is Alice sweet little Alice,Emmets younger sister and small to boot,just standing under 5ft she was a little pixie,she had dark hair like Emmett but spiked at the sides,her eyes were a piercing blue just like Carlisle' telling you the girl must have been born with Jumping jacks up her ass as she can't seem to stay still for long periods at a time,plus she never stops talking perky pixie i call 't get me wrong i wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of Alice as she can be one scary mother fucker and she could shop for the guiness book of records and still have enough energy to go again.

I spotted the Perky Pixie,looking at someone and bouncing on the spot at the same time,i made my way over to her and as soon as she spotted me she flitted over like god damned fairy placing a kiss on my cheek "Edward your too late" she whined and jutted out her lip into a pout.

"Late for what?.

"The new girl was just over there and she smiled at me,she is over with the two harpys now,shame as she dosen't seem the type to be hanging around with the skank brigade."

I looked in the direction to where Lauren and Jessica and their other friend Angela were sat,I could never figure out why a nice girl like Angela would hang around with two Brainless enough there was another girl on the opposite side of them,but i couldn't make out her features as they were blocked from my view by the said fuckin bimbos.I just shook my head and told Alice i needed some fucking fresh air i was feeling suffocated.

My walk took longer than i fuckin intended it to be,i was over fifteen minutes late.I headed back into school and made a beeline for Biology.I fucking loved Biology it was an advanced student at that and Music as well,i ran into Mrs Jones on my way,she smiled and winked what she thought was ? she was old enough to be my god damn mother i quietly opened the door to Biology Mr Banner just glared at me,the mother fucker knew to leave me the fuck alone,thats why he gave me the a desk all to myself.

I looked over to my desk and there was some fuckin girl sat there since when did i have a fucking lab partner.I glared back at Mr Banner he just shrugged his shoulders, he fucking knew i liked to be on my own.i carried on the rest of my way to the desk as the the girl was reaching for her backpack and pulled out what looked to be an ipod,i shoved out my chair making sure to make enough noise and slammed my self down on it...

**Okay the next chapter we will be back to Bpov and what she makes of Edward**


	5. Chapter 4

**_I dont own Twilight the amazing Stepenie does,I Just wanted to put them in my first fic.  
This chapter will be in both points of view_**

**Bpov **

I was frozen when the chair next to me had been shoved open,I could tell who ever it was must have been pissed because of his whole posture,anger,rage and impatience were dripping from him.I made sure to keep my head down forming a curtain with my hair ,I was terrified of freaking out.I wanted to look right at him like any normal teenage girl,but being me that wasn't going to be an option that was until the idiot reached out and took my sheet of answers from the desk,forcing me to look his way.

**Epov**

After slamming myself down on the chair,deliberate of course as i wanted them to know just how pissed I was.I have had this table to myself ever since i started in freshman year,and thats how the fuck i wanted it to stay.I didnt need no fuckin lab partner ,I was an advanced student for fucks sake,I could probably teach half of these asshats any way.I decided to give the girl the once over at least,I turned towards her and was actually surprised,she had long brown hair with hints of red but looked more like mahogony,she was petite but I couldn't tell from the baggy clothes she was wearing.I couldn't tell if she was pretty as she was hiding her face behind her hair which was formed as a curtain blocking my view of her.I just fuckin hope shes not as brainless as those 2 bimbos she was with at lunch as that is the last thing i fucking needed,i needed to stay ahead of everyone else so when I turned 18 i could get the fuck out of this town and never look back.

I decided I was sick of wondering what her face looked like,I reached up on to the table and grabbed her answer sheet,that in turn got her attention,pretty would be understatement,her eyes were the thing that got me the most they were a deep chocolate brown, looking into them further i saw what i thought to be flickers of shock,fear and sadness all mixed together her eyes had me in a trance, They were like i was looking into her soul only deeper,I momentarily snapped out of my ogling to look at the rest of her face,there was a slight blush tinting her face,she was biting down pretty hard on her lip that little action alone sent all my blood supply south.

_Great thats all i needed a massive tent in my pants_,seriously how could my fuckin body react to someone whos name i didn't even know,I quickly readjusted my position before she could notice.I was broken out of my thoughts to the sound of the bell signalling the end of the lesson.A fucking trip to the bathroom was needed,I packed up my shit and quickly made a beeline for the nearest bathroom,not even bothering to glance back as i had a massive fucking problem i needed to deal with before football as the last fuckin thing i needed is to be saluting to the whole football team.

**Bpov**

I was trying to control my breathing as i turned towards him,I could not afford to lose control, feeling brave enough I continued to stare him had the most intense green coloured eyes i have ever seen. His hair was dis helved and all over it was a weird colour bronze or is it copper?.He had a defined jawline.I literally got lost in his eyes like i was seeing his soul but deeper like there was something familiar,hurt guilt, an emotion i knew all too well.I'd been staring at him for fuck knows how long that he probably thought i was ogling him that made the heat rise up my body to my face.

_Blush? who the fuck blushes?_.Me thats who, i dont fucking know why i just always have,my Mom and Phil would pay me a compliment and it would just happen _damn body_.I was brought out of my self loathing to the sound of the bell,signalling the end of Biology,I heard the chair beside me once more scrape against the floor and I watched as Its occupent fled for dear life out the door._There goes another one_,i slowly packed up my belongings and heading to the front of the class with my completed answer sheet,I handed it to Mr Banner and made my way to the door glad to get out of there.

I left school early as there was no way in hell I was staying for gym, no matter what the fucking schedule said it didn't take me long to make it home.I made my way into the kitchen hoping to find something to eat as there was hardly nothing in this fuckin morning,I went to the cupboards to begin searching,and there it all was groceries. Sometime during the day Charlie must have gone shopping but how?,as the man couldn't even fucking cook so how did he know what groceries to buy,i made a mental note to try and thank him all the ingredients out i needed I made a start on supper although Charlie wasn't due home for another 2 hours.

An hour later supper was done. I placed Charlies dinner in the oven to keep warm and headed up to my room to make a start on my homework which didn't take long as i had done all the work before in my old school.I glanced at the clock and it registered 6.45,that meant Charlie would be home in fifteen minutes.I heard his cruiser pull in the driveway dead on 7pm,but I couldn't bring my self to come out of my room. So i decided to read for a while,reaching into my backpack for my favourite book Wuthering Heights and my Ipod I laid down on my bed and began to get lost in a whole new world.I must have fallen asleep as the next thing i know i was screaming like a banshee my bedcovers,clothes and hair were dripping with sweat,it was even running down my face and Charlie was frantically banging at the bedroom door.

"Bells are you okay?,I heard you screaming and was worried".

The worry was evident in his voice,he couldn't get in my room as i had locked it.

"Im fine it was just a bad dream,I am okay now".But I was far from fine, I was shaking and trembling,but I wasn't going to impose on Charlie.

"Are you sure?".

"Yes".I replyed in a more convincing tone,hoping he would take the hint to leave me alone.

"Okay but let me know if you need anything and thanks for dinner."

"Mmm." I mumbled.

I needed a shower but there was no way I was leaving my room tonight if i could help it.I flipped my ipod back on and began where i had left off reading my book. I found my self thinking about a certain pair of green eyes wishing for once i could be fucking normal.

**_Okay so I know this chapter is a little short.I'm sorry for ending it where I did as well,as i wanted the next chapter to switch back to Edwards point of view after biology and the how the rest of his day went._**

**_I am still in need of a Beta so if anyone is willing to take a chance and help me out i would be so grateful._**


	6. Chapter 5

**_Once again I do not own Twilight or any of its characters Stephenie does i just used them for this fic_**

**_Warning there is a lemon in this chapter,but only a small one _**

**Epov**

Football was a fucking drag to say the least ,these baffoons couldn't play football if their fuckin lives depended on it,we have not won a game in the last six years are you suprised?,with these idiots that im supposed to call my team mates. _not likely,_assoon as practice ended I made a bee line for the changing rooms.

I slipped in to my baby ,my silver Volvo that was a present from Carlisle and Esme for keeping my grades up,_I loved this car_,I eventually made it home we lived about 6 miles out of Forks, we had no neighbours which was just fine by me and Esme and Carlisle were very well off. Carlisle was a well known surgeon and made quite a hefty sum and Esme was a well known Interior designer,I had always wondered why she had chose to adopt instead of having children,I found out the hard way.

She was carrying her own child but miscarried and was told she wasn't able to carry children full term so she and Carlisle chose to adopt .There was no one more suited to the role of being a mother as Esme,she had one of the kindest hearts you could ask for,I know she loved me just as much as the others,but she wasn't my real mum which made it all the worser.

I pulled into the family garage and sprinted to the kitchen for something to eat .I found Esme in there cooking something that had me drooling like a fucking dog.

"Something smells nice,"I replied giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I am making Lasagne,to make up for not being around too much these past months."I have have just been so busy with the new design for Mrs Copes house that I have barely had time for my kids."

Mrs Cope was our school secretary and a sweet old bird.I give Esme another peck on her cheek and headed to my room to change.I might be an impossible asshole but I had a lot of respect for Esme.

My bedroom was my sanctuary it housed all my personal belongings,Pictues of me and Tanya and one of the whole family these were the only photos I kept of the happier times before I had screwed everything up,I still didn't deserve even the memories of baby grand stood in the corner of my room ,I never let anyone in here ever not even Esme or Carlisle.

Esme called out that tea was was the first one to the table,judging by the amount he had on his plate_,greedy fucker_ it was always interesting at dinnertimes in our house everyone was always so ingrossd in talking about diffrent things and subjects. After dinner I went staraight back to my room to make a start on homework.

It only took an hour for me to do home work,I suddenly had an urge to play,why I dont know i just did.I ran my fingers along the ivory keys and let the music take me over this was my outlet ,when everything was unclear to me It usually ended at early hours in the morning it was the only thing that kept me sane,in control and a way to express my feelings which I couldn't show.

The clock registered midnight ,I dragged myself to my bathroom to change for bed didnt take me long to succumb to sleep.

* * *

**_Are you okay? I asked solicitously._**

**_I m fine, she mumbled back. Just, I was just . . ._**

**_You were doing what, Bella? I asked smoothly,_**

**_Thinking of you, she whispered._**

**_And what were you thinking of? ._**

**_You."_**

**_"You were thinking of me?."I crooned ,my hips lifting slightly off the bed as my cock strained against my boxers._**

**_Yes, she hissed slightly."_**

**_"You are so beautiful. I want to feel you. I moaned._**

**_"Please?", she begged._**

**_My skin felt itchy and hot, and finally, giving in, I slid one hand under the elastic waistband of her panties,grazing her mound she was so wet and ready for me,but decided to tease her a little._**

**_"What do you need me to do, Bella? Tell me."_**

**_She just whimpered and covered my hand with her own, dragging our fingers up and down over her lace-covered slit._**

**_"Uh-uh, Bella. Not good enough. Tell me," I said as I pulled the lace to the side, gently flicking a long finger over her clit. Her breathing hitched and she arched into my hand._**

**_She moaned deeply, "I need it, Edward, I need you."_**

Beep,Beep,beep.

WTF?, banging on the fucking piece of shit.I had a massive case of morning wood and worser than what i had ever had,I needed a cold shower now. I lazily dragged myself to the fucking bathroom and thinking about those fucking brown eyes as i reached my release.

**Okay another shorter but longer chapter than the other,the longer ones will return next. As i said before I'm going slow and taking my time with each Chapter as i want to do the story justice.**

**P.s I'm still in need of a beta very badly so is there anyone still willing to take a chance and beta me.**


	7. Chapter 6

**_I dont own Twilight, or its Characters Stephenie does. I just used them for my first fan fic_**

**Bpov**

The next two weeks went by in a blur.I had developed a routine,school,shopping and homework.I saw him everyday in Biology but never spoke,I was terrified why the fuck?,couldn't I be a normal teenager.I was feeling like a freak,my life had turned into one black void of unhappiness and the confidence I once had was alien to me now,all that guilt,fear for not doing anything to help them.I had lost my Identity the day they had been took from me,I used to be carefree and loved every moment of my life .Now I just go through everyday hoping no one sets my attacks off.

The attacks were the worse when they came full blown the doctor back in Phoenix called them panic or fear of not being in control of what happened,being afraid of it happening again and of another mans touch,With girls the fear wasn't there but if any of the opposite sex even tried to touch me I would recoil or worse I would have a full blown attack.I hated them and the way they had come to control my life all the therapists and doctors had come to the conclusion that it was an after affect after seeing their bodies,but I knew better it was him that did it .

I was in my bedroom it was Friday and I had just completed a weeks worth of homework,as seen as I had nothing else to do.I had done all the grocery shopping this morning.I had finally plucked up a bit courage and asked Charlie for some money for groceries and he did.I undressed for bed and for the first time in months I looked at myself in the mirror,I ran my fingers along the marred skin across the top of my abdomen thirty seven fucking stitches I had needed,the doctors had told I was lucky to be alive considering how deep the knife went in,they had even offered me plastic surgery to cover the scar up but I refused.I wanted to keep it there,to have something there to remind me of the pain,the reality they had existed and that all this wasn't just some fucked up dream,that I was going to wake up from at any moment.

What made me more nervous is that Mr Banner had said that we would be doing joint Biology projects starting from next week.

Monday came so fast that I was already half ready to have one of my panic attacks. I would be working with him as Bio partners,to say I was terrified would be an understatement.I had all different scenarios running through my mind what if I totally freaked out?,or blacked out? I would never be able to live that shit down,not just that every time I was next to him there was a strange kind Electric pull between us and that made me even more terrified as I dont Know what would happen if I just tried to talk to him let alone try to touch him,I wonder if he ever noticed that feeling as well.I was like a magnet just pulling and pulling me towards him ,I had found out his name as Edward Cullen when Lauren and Jessica would not stop eye fucking him from across the room and calling him out they were trying to sound flirtatious which it was no where near, they sounded like two desperate hookers.

I made my way to the cafeteria at lunch, hoping to get something to eat really fast so I could get out of there,But as seen as luck was never on my side it was impossible to,as there was a line a mile long.I was waiting my turn when the Pixie like girl I had seen on my first day at school approached me and formally introduced herself as Alice Cullen,she was bouncing on the spot as she was talking _really how can anyone have so much energy?_Its liked shes Injected with Jumpin jacks twenty four hours a fuckin day.

"Hi Im Alice,sorry I haven't introduced myself before today."

"Hi",I mumbled.

"And you must be Isabella?".

"Bella". I replyed not so enthusiastically.

"Would you please come and sit at my table with me and my family?".

I was about to decline but she brought on a full scale pout and was looking at me with a serious case of puppy dog eyes.I finally relented.

"Okay just this once."

"YAY." She practically shouted."I knew we were going to be friends from the first day you started and just so you know this will not be just a one time thing."Pointing between me and the table we were headed to.

When reached the table I kept my head down so I would not have to look at any one.

But Alice wasn't having any of it.

"Everyone this is Bella,my new best friend."

WTF?,I barely knew this chick and here she was Introducing me to her siblings.

"Bella this is Emmett,my older brother."

I slowly raised my head and there sat the biggest guy I had ever seen he had black curly hair and 2 dimples that were visible on the side of his cheek ,he held a huge hand for me to shake but I instantly recoiled. I was a little intimidated and he seemed to notice my dilemma and retracted his hand.

"Nice to meet you Bella." he boomed.

I automatically flinched at the loud tone of his voice.

"Never mind him." Chirped Alice,"he is nothing more than a big teddy bear."

_Still I wasn't so sure._

"This is Rosalie,my sister and other best friend."Alice continued on with her Introductions ignoring my little outburst.

"Hey." Was all I heard.

I craned my neck to the right and sitting beside Emmett,was the most Beautiful girl I'd ever seen she looked like she belonged on the latest issue of Vogue.I definitely felt even more plain than I ever had before,She had icy blue eyes,long blonde hair and her skin was flawless,she was certainly giving those two bimbos Lauren and Jessica a run for their money,at least nothing about her was fake.I was brought out of my own thoughts to Alice introducing me to some one else.

"This is Jasper Rosalie's twin and my soul mate."She crooned.

I looked to my left and there was another guy he was definitely the male version of Rosalie,he had blonde hair just like his sister that went to his ears and the same icy blue eyes what was it ?,with this fucking family were they all engineered to be perfect looking.

"Nice to meet ya." drawled Jasper,he wasn't as intimidating as Emmett but I was still as apprehensive as ever.

"You have already met Edward,he is in Biology with you,he's my younger brother.

"Yes",I said my voice no louder than a whisper.

"So how are you liking Forks so far?."Asked Alice.

"Okay I said still mumbling,"I really didn't want to talk to her or anyone, but something inside my head was telling me that this tiny person always gets what she wants.

I don't think I was ever so happy to hear the bell ring at that minute.I mumbled a goodbye to all of them,the best way I could without being too impolite,but my happiness was short lived when I realized I had Biology,with Edward,he was going to be my partner.I groaned I just fucking hope this goes well.

* * *

I was the first one to Biology,I quickly made my way to my seat dread and fear dripping off me in waves. How was i going to speak to him? without Hyperventilating or even worser Black out.

I was too deep in thought to even notice the chair and its occupant at the side of me.

"Hello I'm Edward Cullen." He chided.

Scaring the fuck out of me.I'm sure my jaw just hit the floor at double impact,did he just speak to me?,Now I was really confused we have been sat at the same desk for a week and neither one of us has even spoken.I couldn't speak or answer him I was just frozen,on the other hand that pull was getting stronger than ever between us what was so special about him?,why am I not afraid of him? and why do I feel like I can trust him to an extent where I was comfortable.I haven't felt like I could trust anyone for a long time.

I decided to take a chance,_here goes nothing._

"Hello I'm Bella Swan,nice to meet you," I said making sure I wasn't looking at his face.

Mr Banners voice broke up our little banter for which I was grateful for.

"As I told everyone last Friday that you would all be needing a partner for your next assignment,each of you will be finding out different aspects of the teenage life."

He started handing out our assignments and when he reached me and Edward.

"You too are going to be a good team and I know you will work well together and bring some astounding results,but I just have one favor to ask the both of you before you both start on your Assignments,I want you both to learn about each other."

"What do you mean?,"Hissed Edward.

"What I mean is you two are practically strangers to each other and you must find out about each other in order to do your assignment."

I was too shocked to speak this teacher expected me to spend more time with Edward, getting to know him and some of his inner secrets,his likes and dislikes and he was supposed to find out my likes and dislikes as well,there was no way I was okay with his shit.I picked up the work assignment.

_Fuck,there is no way I can do this with him,I'm really screwed..._

**Okay a longer chapter,does anyone care to guess what their joint assignment will be about?**

**Also I'd like to thank those few people whom have reviewed and added my story to their favorites list.I can't tell you how grateful to you all about that,I really means alot to me.**

**as you can see I'm still in need of a beta,so if anyone is interested? in being a beta for me,It would really make my day.**


	8. Chapter 7

**I don't own Twilight,Stephenie does I'm just using them for my first fan fic.**

**Epov**

Fucked....That was the right word,I sat there wordless, staring at the offending piece of paper. Mr Banner has finally lost his fucking nuts?,he can't be fucking serious I cant do this,I barely knew this girl.

_I'm so fucking screwed....there is no way we could do this together._

I had decided this morning after a week of just sitting next her with no words spoken at all between us, that I would fucking swallow my pride and break the ice or whatever the fuck you call it and speak to her.

I had parked in the school parking lot rendering on my week had been the same, every Biology lesson,but today I was hoping to change that.I didn't know why but the more I sat with this girl the more I wanted to get to know her,understand her. It was driving me absolutely Insane wondering what her story was?.Was she ignoring me on purpose?,also I didn't know if she felt what I felt every time I was sat next to was really hard to put into words,It was like a strange magnet was at work always pulling me towards her it felt like electricity in the air and she was like the plug that it needed to connect to in order for it to work,I've been trying to ignore it all week but now as I was sat here.I decided I couldn't try to pull away from it any longer.

Alice had come up to me before lunch and said she was going to befriend Bella,I had found out her name from one of her assignments when I had sneaked a look at one of her papers while she wasn't looking.I didn't even go to lunch as I was still contemplating how I should break the silence,I decided a simple introduction should be suffice. Since that prick Banner had decided that the whole class would be working as a team on our next assignment.I was majorly pissed at first at first as I didn't need no fucking lab partner,but because it was worth half of this semesters grade that I would have to suck it up whether I liked it or not.I needed to get good grades to get into a good college and that was my main goal,to get away from this hell hole as soon as I could. lunchtime was finally over, I made my way to Biology but before i managed to reach there I was side stepped by Alice,She had a grin on her face the size of a fucking Cheshire cat.

"What has got you looking like you have won a million dollar shopping spree."I asked

"Bella has just had lunch with us,I told you she would become my new best friend before these two weeks were up."she said smugly.

"She actually talked to you then?or was it you doing all the talking?." I added knowing full well that Alice tended to get ahead of herself.I knew she meant well and really cared for people but her mouth sometimes got the better of her to a point where we would have to yell at her to breathe before she ran out breath from non stop chatter,she had been at it nonstop this past week about wanting to approach Bella.I wanted to tell her no but I thought better of it as when Alice wanted to do something that she had a mind set on doing then it was even futile to even try to talk her out of it.

"Hey!." she hissed.

"Cool your jets pixie i was just kidding,so what did she talk to you about?."

"Nothing much she barely spoke,I introduced her to all of us and she said hi but that was all and she thanked me."

"So nothing about her life or her being a new potential shopping partner for you then?" I asked amused I loved to wind her up sometimes and she always fell for it.

"OW",what was that for?."I asked rubbing the spot where she had just punched me.

For some one so small Alice could certainly punch.

* * *

I continued on my way to Biology after saying goodbye to Alice,I was a bit late but I wasn't bothered. I entered biology and noticed Bella,was already there,she looked to be deep in thought,I found myself wondering what she was thinking about.I sat down quietly not wanting to disturb her plucking up the courage I introduced myself and to my surprise she spoke back and introduced herself as well.

So now here I was Looking at this fucking piece of paper that had our assignment on,Speechless he wanted us both to get to know each other before actually starting this together,In a way I was happy it would give me a chance to get to know Bella, on the other hand why the fuck was I interested in this girl?.The only thing I could explain is that somehow I had the feeling I could trust her and that alone was a strange feeling for me, as I gave up all trust in my self and others a long time made this girl so special?.

I literally hissed at Mr Banner wondering what the fuck was going through his mind when he decided this part of the assignment was for us.I sneaked a look at Bella,she looked just as shocked as me if even more,he was basically asking us to get know each other's thoughts,feelings and secrets,likes and dislikes in order for this assignment to work.

I glanced back at the piece of Paper the title read. **_What makes a teenage relationship last?,_underneath that.**

_Find out what a couples feelings are of each other and what they each think makes their relationship last._

_Find out what trust issues a couple may have do they have fear?.issues?_

_Do they have active intimate relationships? sex and oral?_

_Do they have ever have serious fights that causes long last affect on ones relationship_

_Have they anything in common?_

_**The best way to approach this assignment would be to be to experience a teenage relationship firsthand,that I suggest that both participants should build a relationship between the two of them that way they can come out at the end of it with surprising results both on paper and in each other.**_

I sat there going back over the questions,I chanced another glance at Bella and she was staring at what she was thinking I decided to ask her I was really fucking fed up of guessing.

"What are your thoughts on this?,I know what mine are and I'm not fond of this assignment at all but it's half of our grade,so I don't think we have much choice."she looked really terrified,all the blood was rushing from her face at this point and she was looking paler than she was supposed to be.I thought she was going to pass was struggling with her breathing and trying to control it,after what seemed like minutes had passed she finally got herself under control.I wondered what would cause such a reaction from her,was she she scared of me? or was she scared of what was on the paper?I looked into her eyes,she was still watching me her eyes were full of fear,that made me wonder if it wasn't me but something that had happened from her past,something she was trying to keep bottled up probably had a lot of trust issues she brought me out of my day dream with her voice,she wasn't loud more like a trembling whisper but I heard,she had a nice soft voice although I could tell from it she was scared to talk,her voice wasn't high pitched and nasally like some skanks at this school.I turned a little more towards her so I could hear her.

"I am not so sure about the assignment,but like you said It's half of our grade,I am willing to do this but we need some sort of understanding okay."She was still trembling but I could tell from even her voice it must a took a hell of a fucking lot just to speak to me.

"Okay I agreed,what do you suggest?."

"We need to get to know each other right?,so I think we should start with some sort of Questionare about each other."She all but mumbled out slightly trembling still.

"Okay we will each compile a list of questions to ask each other tomorrow,then after we have each answered each others questions, we will have to go through them and discuss at length about each and everyone of the answers." I wasn't sure why the fuck I had just said that but this girl was really starting to do a fucking number on my head,there was just something about this girl that made me want to protect her.

"Agreed I'll do my own list as well."she answered slightly more calmer than she had.

Suddenly I was really looking forward to writing these Questions and find out the mystery,surrounding Bella fucking Swan.

The bell rang all too soon,I was going to keep up my found resolution I was going to say bye but before I had the chance she was up and out of the classroom like a fucking tornado.

**_Okay I will continue in Bella's point of view of the same talk here and her thoughts on the whole assignment and how she is feeling about the whole thing. _**

**_I'd like to thank everyone that has reviewed so far and to the reviewer who guessed right there assignment was indeed about teenage relationships._**


	9. Chapter 8

**I don't own Twilight or any of It's characters Stephanie does. I just wanted to use them for my first fan fic.**

**Bpov**

_This is fucking ridiculous,how can I do this?._

I was literally sat there frozen still contemplating what this assignment actually said. I was literally scared now,he wanted me to work with this person. I barely knew,whom I knew for sure I would totally freak out . I cant even touch another male without the memories ,or I couldn't stand the thought of another male trying to touch me.

But what was it about this person next to me?What was so special about Edward?,that made me feel safe and what was this pull I kept feeling whenever I was around him. It's hard to describe it felt like there was an hum of electricity that constantly hung in the air surrounding us. I couldn't help but wonder if he ever noticed it as well.

All through my frozen state of thought, I was panicking trying to catch my breath. I could feel him staring at me then he finally spoke. That alone shocked me,he was asking what my thoughts were on the assignment and at this point I could feel all the blood rush from my face and my breathing was getting erratic and I thought I was ready for passing out. After what seemed like minutes I managed to get my breathing back to some sort of normal. I couldn't just ignore him,after all he was making the effort to ask me what I thought. I finally decided to take a chance and hope I didn't make my self sound like a fool.

"I am not so sure about the assignment,but like you said It's half of our grade,I am willing to do this but we need some sort of understanding okay." I said still pretty much trembling.

"Okay."He said.

Feeling a bit more braver but still mumbling I replied back.

"We need to get to know each other right?,so I think we should start with some sort of Questionnaire about each other."

"Okay we will each compile a list of questions to ask each other tomorrow,then after we have each answered each others questions, we will have to go through them and discuss at length about each and everyone of the answers ." he answered.

"Agreed I'll do my own." feeling a lot more calmer than before,but now I was also panicking what the fuck?,made me agree to this,maybe it was because for some reason even though I haven't known this person for a little less than two weeks,for whatever reason made me feel safe to be around him. What was drawing me to him?. Was it the emotions I could see in those emerald orbs of his and some how be able to relate to those emotions. Anyhow all I know is I needed to get out of here as I could feel the usual feelings starting to brew within side me just begging to make an appearance.

I was never more grateful for the bell than at the moment I quickly grabbed up my shit before Edward, even had a chance to speak to me. I ran as fast as I could to seek out the nearest bathroom. I needed to get my shit together before heading home and the only place that seemed logical was the bathroom.

I arrived home early as usual,It was agreed earlier in the week by Charlie, and the school that I wouldn't have to be subjected to gym. I was feeling emotionally worn out and tired after crying and trying to keep my self calm in the school bathroom earlier. But was was strange is that my attack didn't last as long as it usually did and for that I was feeling a bit more calmer than usual,I knew I couldn't sleep so I made a start on dinner for Charlie,and very well dreading tonight's home work.

My bedside clock had just registered a little after nine and I'm here trying to think of some fucking questions for my questionnaire. Looking over at what I had so far, I was trying to stick to the basics for our first study lesson as partners. I had decided as I was writing these questions that they were also a bit of suspicion on my side a deliberate attempt to find out more about him not just for the assignment. For me as well. I wasn't completely sure why I wanted to find out more about or why use these questions as an ulterior motive. Well I had one fucking great idea why?.I was too fucked up to ask him straight out,too terrified of triggering the memories of that bastard.

After an hour of contemplating these Questions I was finally done. My eyes were trying to win a failing battle as sleep tried to take me,In the end I decided it was time to change for bed,I made my way to the dresser I pulled out some clothes and made my way to the bathroom,locking the door when I got there.I scrubbed my face with some water and brushed my teeth after changing out of my clothes and chucking them into the hamper,and also making a mental note to do some laundry.

I quickly made my way back to my room and locked the door and jumped Into bed wrapping all my covers around me. Sleep soon took me and for the first time in a long time I dreamed of another face besides his,but that didn't stop the night mares taking over I was up as soon as they took over.

Waking up in my usual fucking mess of sweat and tangled sheets,but as I sat there trembling I realized that the dream I was having before the nightmare was about none other then my new assignment partner....Edward fucking Cullen.

I knew now I was even more terrified about our first study as partners. Would I have the same courage as I had today and speak or would I be too scared to even talk about the answers to each of the Questions on our sheets. He had said he wanted to discuss them at length and we had no choice, as it would help us with all the work and answers that we were going to have to explore in order to do the assignment of all the things that we could learn and that fucking prick of a teacher had to go and do Teenage fucking relationships.

Glancing at my clock it registered five in the morning,I decided I was in need of a long hot shower if there was anyway I was going to survive getting through today. Maybe if everything does go well today it might get easier to talk to him.

_Yes you keep telling yourself that and you might actually believe it,but it will never happen just like I will never be normal again._

Bringing my self out of those thoughts I got my clothes ready for school and made my way in to the bathroom with them making sure to lock the door.I stripped as the shower was running. Stepped into it I let the water loose all over my body and relax me,a shower always had a way of clearing my thoughts and make decisions and today I was certainly in need of all the clear thoughts and courage today. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever be normal again,have what what normal teenage girls have,some one I could love and them love me I knew for now that was all in my head,My heart and head were so fucked up at the moment that I doubted I would ever have be able to let anyone In.

I've never even been with a boy let alone had a boyfriend and now I doubt I ever will.I mean all those experiences that other girls talk about all the time will always remain a mystery to me,I mean what would an orgasm feel like?, would I ever be able to have that?,would I ever be able to let anyone touch me or be with me in every way possible without the nightmares and panic attacks,all those things seemed so far away to a point that it will never happen. I was brought out of my thoughts to the feeling of cold water. Quickly turning off the water,I climbed out and wrapped my self in a towel and dried myself. I put my clothes on even quicker and unlocking the bathroom door I ran into my bedroom.

I was still panicking how it would go today,praying to anyone that would listen hoping that they were on my side for once, as I needed all the confidence I could summon up.I t was now nearly seven in the morning and I knew I had to start getting ready for school.

Making quick work of my breakfast,I headed back up to my room to pack up my assignment questions and everything else I needed for school in my backpack.I headed out of the door for eight fifteen to my car and headed for school towards the unknown. With all those different things still running through my mind.

**_Okay I'm going to ask you all something , I was thinking of doing a Paragraph or two in Mr Banner's Point of view, as there is an ulterior motive as why he has chosen Edward and Bella for that specific assignment, So all of you let me know if you want me to do it._**


	10. Chapter 9

**I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, Stephanie does. I just wanted to use them for my first fan fic.**

**This chapter is only small as I said in the last authors note that Mr Banner, chose Edward and Bella. For this particular assignment as he has an ulterior motive. This is in Mr Banners Point of View.**

**Mr Banners pov**

I was going through all the classes assignments for this semester, as I wanted all the students In my advanced class to go through different stages and topics in a teenagers life. I had read the new girls record and it was not light reading. She had moved back from Phoenix six months after the murder of her Mother and Stepfather and almost her own.

Her medical records were what concerned me. She had gone through numerous Therapists and doctors and each one had said that she was prone to panic and attacks , was afraid of male contact,on top of that nightmares were a regular occurrence. She had refused on numerous occasions to talk about them.

I then went onto her former school records and discovered she was a very well liked student and was in advanced classes in nearly all of her subjects.

I then re read Edward Cullen's record and discovered they both had a lot of problems,Edward was also an advanced student but he wasn't the easiest person to get along with. He had a lot of bitterness and some serious trust Issues going on inside.

But reading through them. From experience I knew that sometimes Therapists and Doctors aren't really the best option, Sometimes help can come from a complete stranger that has problems of their own .I have seen it happen before,So that is why I decided that the intimate part of teenage relationships would be perfect for them.

Call it what they like but I think it's what these two needed. The assignment it self would give them a chance to build some foundation of a friendship,that in turn could gradually allow them to build up trust and hopefully by the end of the assignment these two will have found what they need from each other. And be able to confide to each other and hopefully come to terms with each of their pasts together, or In other words be able to trust enough in each other,In order for each of them to start healing and look forward to some kind of future.

I just hope this works out.

**_Okay I will be back to normal points of view next chapter._**


	11. Chapter 10

**I don't own twilight or any of it's characters, Stephanie,does. I just used them for my first fan fic.**

**I'd just like to thank the people who have reviewed, I'm not one of those authors who beg for reviews as I think writing should be fun. People who enjoy writing should just do it.**

**Epov**

These Questions are a lot fucking harder than I imagined . What Questions could I put down without seeming too intrusive. Even nosy I didn't want to freak Bella out, I decided to stick with the basics and ask her stuff about herself.

This of course took me three fucking hours, just to make up some simple fucking Questions. But why the fuck was I even bothered about what kind of Questions?, I didn't usually give a damn. It was as though she had some how managed to get in side my head and now I can't seem to keep my mind off her, she was in there constantly like some new addiction I couldn't get rid of. I wanted to know everything about her but at the same time I didn't want to scare her off. I'm usually very good at reading people,but she was a mystery to me. A mystery I wanted to solve but I had the feeling I would have tread carefully, very carefully and be patient and that was something I wasn't fucking good with. I hated people to keep me fucking waiting.

I glanced at my clock it registered 9 O' clock, I wasn't even tired. I was glad I had finished the questionnaire though. I packed all my stuff into my backpack ready for school tomorrow, I didn't know what or how it was going to go tomorrow but I was feeling pretty damn anxious. I wasn't used to feeling those emotions, I had learned to block out any feelings I once had as a human being. I didn't deserve the luxury to feel such things. So why was this girl managing to slowly break through my walls, making me feel things I didn't want to feel, Damn her I would just have to try and keep her at arms length.

_Arms length who am I kidding?_

I managed to kick my ass in gear and stop my self fucking loathing.

I headed for my bathroom to take a nice long shower as I was going to need sleep If I was going to get through tomorrow. I stripped my self off and climbed under the hot spray,letting it clear all of the day's grime and sweat away .But no matter how much I tried to think of anything else my thoughts would just go straight back to Bella. I needed to really needed to try and focus on something else, but all I could see is that familiar sense of pain and guilt in those brown eyes of hers. I wondered what could have happened in her past that brought that kind of sadness to such beautiful eyes.

I was too busy contemplating too much in my mind that I hadn't noticed I was now trembling. The water had turned ice cold and I was god damned shaking,I quickly turned off the shower and darted for the nearest towel. When I had finally warmed up and my teeth no longer chattering, I wrapped the towel round my waist and headed back into my bedroom to change for bed.

I fell asleep not long after. I awoke to the motherfucking sound of the electrical contraption they call an alarm. I groaned internally wishing the fucking thing wasn't even invented, I hastily opened my eyes to adjust to my surroundings and when I was able to see I glanced at the said contraption it read just after seven. That means I had enough time to shower and have breakfast.

Something from the kitchen smelled heavenly I rushed to get dressed so I could get a taste of what was cooking before that fucker Emmett scoffed it all.

I found out that fucking heavenly scent was pancakes, I greedily scarfed all of them down, after washing my plate on Esme's orders I raced back up to my room and grabbed my junk I needed for today. I was really shitting my load this morning wondering if my questions would send Bella for the hills. I kissed Esme on the cheek and headed for my Volvo and sped off to school to face the unknown only hoping that I didn't fucking screw this up, because the questions I chose although they were pretty basic they were also a way for me to find out more about her.I wondered if we had the same Interests,likes,dislikes and I chose one personal question that might have repercussions and probably make me sound like a total asshole. The whole point of the question was to find out something more personal about herself.

The morning went by pretty quickly, it was now lunchtime I decided to sit with my family today after the constant ear ache from Alice, that she wanted me to interact with the family I also had an ulterior motive, I wanted to see how Bella was around my siblings. Was she has timid as she was in biology or was that just around me?, I spotted the familiar faces at my normal table along with Bella she looked terrified as I approached but all my siblings were too engrossed in each other to notice. The only vacant seat there seemed to be was next to Bella, I carefully sat down and that familiar charge of electricity that always seemed to be there between us was in full effect.

"Well look who's decided to show his pretty face and eat with us." Boomed Emmett.

"Fuck you asshole, like I had a choice with the perky pixie breathing down my neck every two fucking minutes." I growled

Alice gave me that familiar look that said I heard you.

"Well if you spent more time with us, instead of being on your own all the time you might even notice my new friend."

"As if I could forget your new friend, you never shut up about her for more than two minutes, I'm surprised you haven't scared her away." I said while looking at Bella.

"Well you could have told me she was in your biology class Edward," she sneered.

"Well I don't need to tell you fuckers everything you know I like my privacy." I sneered back. I didn't mean to be an asshole to them but they all knew I hated anybody on my case it's just the way I was and that's how I preferred it. That way I couldn't hurt any body , everybody in the past who I had let in had ended up dead and I didn't want to put anyone else in danger. I was damaged goods and as soon as my family realized it the better off they would be.

"Well I was just worried about you like I always am." she said while pouting. Now In really did feel like an asshole she always knew how to press the right buttons.

"Great one Edward," sneered Rosalie and shooting me a death glare. _Bitch_

"Sorry pixie you know what an asshole I can be I can't seem to help it I'm incorrigible , I know you care but thanks anyway." i said looking at her with my most sincere look and she stopped pouting and smiled that's when I knew I was forgiven. I took another glance at Bella but she still had had the same terrified look on her face.

"Hey Bella don't let the asshole side of Edward scare you off as he is usually pretty tame." Said Jasper while snickering. I shot him the bird and a death glare.

The bell finally rang signalling it was time for our dreaded study lesson together. I was about to dart so i could get a head start with my thoughts when Alice called.

"You'll walk Bella to biology won't you Edward and I'm sure she would love the company." I didn't fail to notice the double meaning of the last word the perky pixie was definitely up to something and I was going to find out before she could go through with it.

"Sure if Bella doesn't mind." I said facing her.

"Okay I'd like that she said just above a whisper." I noticed she wasn't as tense as yesterday maybe this questionnaire thing would be good after all.

_**Okay don't be mad that I stopped it there. I just wanted the next chapter to jump from one point of view to the other,so the next chapter will be in both points of view.**_

_**Also I wanted to ask has anybody guessed who killed Bella's mom and step dad yet? I have left the vital clue there somewhere.**_


	12. Chapter 11

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters Stephanie does.**

**Okay this Chapter will be in both Edward's and Bella's point of view.**

**Bpov**

I couldn't believe Edward had agreed to walk with me to biology, my heart was thumping so loudly in my chest that I was sure he could hear it. Why was I so affected by this person? He had me feeling things I never have before. My mind was still reeling when we reached biology,I had two choices here. One I could make an excuse that I wasn't feeling well but then I would have to do it another time. Two I could just suck it up and do my best not to freak out, but I didn't have time to contemplate on any of those options as Mr Banner's voice interrupted my thoughts asking us all to take our seats and begin our assignments.

I quickly and quietly sat down. I grabbed the questionnaire out of my bag, I was still pretty much trembling but not as much as I would usually. It was like Edward had some sort of safe aura surrounding him that drew me into it, as that is how I felt every time I was near him. I swallowed my pride well what I had left of it and picked up the questionnaire to give it to him. I looked at him trying to determine the look in his eyes. I was momentarily lost in them again they were sincere I could tell,he brought me out of my gaze and I involuntarily blushed.

_Could this day get any fucking worse? _

"Would you like to swap with me now or later? He asked quizzically.

"Now would be okay. I said trying to hide my nervousness.

He passed me his paper but not before managing to skim my wrist with his hand and when he did a bolt of what I would describe as electricity shot up through my arm, leaving a tingly sensation as well. I pulled my hand back quickly. He must have noticed because he was also momentarily stoned as much as I was, I shook my head to regain some composure.

"I did my best to stay with the basic questions." He said breaking our little moment of silence.

I began reading them

_**Where were you born ?**_

_Forks was my answer and raised in Phoenix_

_**What brought you here? and how are you liking it so far?**_

I froze on this, what could I put I wasn't ready to reveal my fucked up past any time soon. So I bent the truth a little.

_My mum and step dad Phil passed away six months ago and I ended up living with my mums best friend Charlotte but it was getting too much. That I decided to come and live with my dad._

I hated lying but I didn't want Edward to know the gory details of my departure and have him pitying me or feeling sorry for me.

_**What music are you into?**_

_I'm into all sorts of music, except anything fucking country and Indie. Some of my favourite music is mostly 80's rock and power ballads. I guess you could call Kings of Leon, Muse and anything classical is my most sincere choice of music._

_**Are you single and a virgin?**_

_Wtf? Who did he think he was?, did he seriously think I was _going to answer this?.I decided to fuck with him a little give him a taste of his own medicine the fucker.....

**Epov**

When I reached out for her questionnaire I was momentarily stoned the sudden electrical jolt that ripped through my body. I could tell she felt it too as she was the exact image of what I was sure my was. I snapped my self out of it and told her.

"I did my best to stay with the basic questions." hopefully not sounding too desperate, I was really looking forward to her answers to my questions. I don't know where this feeling of excitement came from but I was sure as hell going to try and keep that feeling.

I took her paper from her and began reading. It was almost the exact same questions I had put out on hers except the one I had put there that was going to probably piss her off, but I wanted to know the answer for the sake of my own sanity. So here goes my answers.

**_Where were you born and raised?_**

_Easy I was born in Chicago and raised there till the age of 14, when Dr Cullen and his wife adopted me after my family passed away. So then I was raised in this fucking shit hole of a town._

I wasn't going to reveal the whole fucking truth. what a fucking screw up I was and that It was my fault they were dead.

**_What music do you prefer? _**

_Mostly 80' rock and classical they are my main but I casually go for some other newer bands like Cold play, Muse and fucking Kings Of Leon._

_**What is the thing you most regret not doing so far?**_

I mentally cringed on this question not sure how to answer.

I answered the next five questions which consisted of likes and dislikes, favorite movie and other things that were not too personal. After what seemed like half an hour we finally switched our papers. I glanced down at her answers and were surprised that we had most things in common. Music and movies and when i glanced at the question I was most looking forward to reading I was frozen. What she had wrote made my pants suddenly very uncomfortable.

**_Okay fucker you really wanna know my answer to this Is yes I'm single and very horny.I haven't had any since my threesome back in Phoenix, and two of those threesome was with girls . Does that give you your answer asshole or would you like to see what underwear I have on as well?_**

I adjusted my position on my seat to make my self more comfortable and hoping to some high motherfucking power that she didn't notice my current condition. Was she trying to fuck with me? by putting something like that down ,now I had all sorts of visuals of her in different situations and positions and that certainly wasn't helping the tent in my pants.

**Bpov**

I looked at his answers, I got the feeling from the first question that he was holding something back just like I had on my answers. We certainly had alot more in common that I ever imagined he was into the same music movies and we had some of the same likes and dislikes. I was really curious about the one question he left unanswered. Before I could register what I was doing I blurted out.

"Are you going to tell me why you missed the question you did?"

He looked at me in a strange expression,almost pained. I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him. He surprised me by saying,

"I'm not ready to answer that yet maybe when we have got to know each other a alot better, are you going to tell me me if the answer to a particular question is true?. He asked grinning crookedly and I realized that was the first time i'd ever seen him smile.

"Wouldn't you like to know?."and I found my self smiling back. That was a fucking first for me in a long time. I didn't know what came over me and this new found confidence but I was really fucking hoping it was going to last.

"Maybe in time I'll get to find out as I know, I want to know more about you." He replied smugly.

God if he only knew that was never going to happen.I only agreed to this fucking assignment to get my grade. We didn't get to discuss much else as the bell rang.

I''ll see ya tomorrow and we can chat a bit more if that is okay with you?." he said as he winked at me.

_He fucking winked and why was that simple act having such a reaction in my stomach, and why did my panties all of a sudden feel very damp?_

_"_Okay." I replied trying to control my emotions, thankfully he didn't notice as he was already heading out of the classroom.

For the first time in a long time I felt something.


	13. Chapter 12

**I don't own Twilight or any of its characters, Stephanie does.**

**Epov**

Man she must think I'm a real ass hole for just rushing out like that, but I needed the distance. She was slowly breaking down all my walls. The answer she had put to my question just about drew me over the edge and left me with a very noticeable and unfucking comfortable hard on.

I took care of my problem in the bathroom before heading to practice. All through training I couldn't keep my mind on the game, It kept drifting back to Bella and our small conversation we had. I felt like at least she had relaxed a little but there was still so much tension as well radiating off her in waves. Something from her past had really done a number on her, but what?, I really wanted to find out. I was brought out of my inner thoughts by something hitting my head very fast, I realized that I was too much in thought, that I had totally forgot the fucking game in front of me.

After practice had ended , I quickly got changed and ran to my car eager to get home as I was fucking hungry. I decided not to do my usual over the limit driving.

I was almost home when I spotted what looked like Bella, having a fight with a tyre. She was hunched over kicking the fuck out of it, I couldn't fucking help it I just had to laugh, she looked so fucking cute. She didn't hear me pull up thankfully, I couldn't help but stare at her cute ass as she was bent over hauling the tyre. I quietly got out of the car and took a few tentative steps forward not wanting to scare her, she down right had the mouth of a fucking sailor the way she was flying out some rather colourful language.

She must have sensed my presence as her body tensed up and she was trying to calm her breathing, she dropped the tyre to the ground and turned around very slowly.

"Would you like some help?", I said cautiously.

"No I've got it", she mumbled still looking a bit tense.

"Okay I'll just be here if you change your mind." I walked back to my car and leaned against the hood so I could watch if she really did need help. It was really quite fucking funny watching her trying to unbolt the tyres and remove the flat tyre, she almost dropped the flat one on her feet. I just had to chuckle at that, she must have heard as she gave me a glare that clearly stated fuck off.

When it was clear she was having trouble still I got up off the hood of my car and went towards her.

"Why don't you let me do that for you as it's clear you are having trouble with it, or do you fancy spending the entire night here?." I clearly stated to her. That must have done the trick to convince her as she finally relented and dropped the tyre to the ground and backed away.

I quickly made work of changing it for her. I even put the flat tyre into the boot of her car.

"Thanks." she said sounding a little less hesitant as before reminding me yet again of our earlier conversation in Biology. I was noticing little by little she was feeling a little more comfortable around me and I wanted to work more on that to the point she would be totally comfortable around me. I wondered what was running through her mind all the time she had to face anyone was she always this with drawn and would she ever feel comfortable around anyone without freaking out. Would she ever be able to confide in me and tell me what had happened to her to make her this way.

I told her it was my pleasure and watched as she got in the car and drove off. I then made my way home looking forward to some fucking food. Esme was In the kitchen as she had been all week and it was nice to have a home cooked meal every night instead of fucking take away.

"Edward where were you? your never usually this late." she asked clearly worried.

"Nowhere I just felt like going for a drive after a shit fucking football practice!", I snapped. She knew I hated being interrogated.

"Sorry I was just worried and would you cut that tone of language down in my house as I will not tolerate it okay." She said sternly Esme could be one scary motherfucker If you pusged her too far. But I knew as far as she goes she only has my best interests at heart.

"Sorry Esme you know I can be a jerk sometimes, It's not your fault It's mine you know how I hate people asking questions and interrogating me. Is there any dinner left I'm starving." I asked .

"Yes I manage to keep Emmett from hogging it all It's in the oven keeping warm." she answered.

After Supper I suddenly had the urge to play. It was very strange as I usually only have the urge to play at the last thing at night but I wanted to play now, I made my way to my bedroom and sat down on the bench at my piano and began playing an unfamiliar tune that had just come to me. I don't know how long I sat there and played but I felt a whole lot fucking better for it. The music had me thinking of Bella and how fucking miserable she always seems, I bet at one time she was full of life. It seemed a fucking shame to see her like she is now no light in those big beautiful brown eyes of hers they seemed so dead and lifeless like a black hole of nothingness.

What the fuck was wrong with me? no other girl has ever had this kind affect on me I just usually fucked them and left them to their own devices. But Bella was different from all the others I knew the first time I had seen her she wasn't one of those regular Forks High Bimbos just throwing them selves at me. I was really looking forward to our next biology lesson to find out more about her. She had officially got under my fucking skin so much that every single one of my thoughts were of her, half of them were in the gutter and the other thoughts were yelling at me that I had to protect her.

I was officially fucking screwed even my dreams were of her, I needed to try and get her out of my system before I acted on these fucking odd feelings I was having for her. Wanting her to be near to me every single minute of the day and never having to let her go,but I couldn't just go ahead and do that without scaring the living fuck out of her I had to take my time and be gentle with her. Hoping for fucks sake she would learn to trust me enough.

I finally fell asleep trying to think of ways to get her out of my system before we both feel too far. As I would only end up hurting and disappointing her with my fucked up life and she didn't deserve that, she fucking deserved to be treat with respect and loved. I couldn't give her any of those. I didn't want to feel I didn't deserve to feel when ever I thought of those feelings I would just quickly picture my family and those feelings would just disappear as soon as they had come. But with these feelings I was having for Bella they just fucking wouldn't go away.

I finally awoke in the morning after only four hours fucking sleep still unresolved as what to do. I quickly hopped out of bed deciding to take a shower maybe that would help me think of what fucking actions I could take to help out my situation,but one thing I was sure of is If I didn't find a solution fast then I would have to find a way of acting on my impulses and feelings because these they were getting stronger by the minute and even more stronger when I was around her. Was she feeling any of this as well? if she fucking is then how does she manage to hide behind her feelings so well?. I have always been good at reading people but I could never get an accurate reading on her and that alone made me even more curious and confused at the same time. I also knew that no matter what my thoughts were of trying to distance myself from her were. It would be impossible thanks to this fucking assignment.

I finally made my mind up I would just go with it for the time being and see where all this lead for me.

**_I'm sorry these chapters are not so long as the first two, I just find it a bit more easier to publish them alot easier this way._**


	14. Chapter 13

**I don't own Twilight or any of It's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like to thank everyone who has added my story to their alerts, it means a lot so thanks again.**

**Bpov**

Did I really just try to have a normal conversation?. Fuck that was intense I didn't even freak out, I kept my breathing under control and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I mean not that normal would be a regular thing for me. I hope that much wasn't true.

But he must have been have thought I was a freak the way he fucking flew out of here like a bat in hell. But even though he flew out of here I didn't seem to mind as he actually made me feel something that I never thought I would feel again, hope I haven't felt anything like that in six fucking months and two weeks here and he has managed to break through my broken exterior but how?. What was so special about him?.I knew he had the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen and that hair of his had a mind of its own, It always looked like he had just rolled out of bed but at the same time looked good on him.

After Biology Instead of wanting to head home like I usually did I felt like driving. I didn't know where to but I needed to clear my head. I couldn't even concentrate on a simple fucking task like driving. My mind kept going back to Edward and our little conversation I really wanted to see his face when he read my answer to his question, but he kept him self composed. I wondered what could have been running through his mind at that question,was he hoping to get a rise out of me or a proper answer.

That was a question I was not prepare to answer. I don't know how long I had been driving but I couldn't fucking go home like this and have Charlie, question me as it was one of his days off. We were still not exactly talking like a normal father daughter should. One of the things I had made clear to my doctors and therapists is that no matter how bad I was I didn't want Charlie knowing just how fucked up I was. It wasn't fair to him although he was practically still a stranger to me, as I was to him I still didn't want him to know that's why whenever he is around I put on a fake act that I'm doing okay and he seems to be buying it for now,but I know he's not that stupid and will see straight through me. My mom always used to say I was her open book and that she could tell what I was thinking by just looking at my face. I didn't realize I was crying till I felt the familiar salty taste run into my mouth. I needed to pull myself fucking together I didn't want Charlie seeing me like this.

After what seemed like forever I finally stopped crying and was about to put my foot down on the gas pedal to go faster when the car began to swerve and a loud popping sound could be heard from outside.I stopped the car at the side of the road and got out to investigate. Of all the fucking things to happen to me, I had a flat fucking tyre. I bent over to inspect the damage I would definatley need to change it.

I made my way way round to the trunk of the car for the jack and spare tyre I remember Charlie said he had put a new one in there just in case I might need one, I guess this fucking means I needed one. I grabbed the tool whatever the fuck it was called to loosen the bolts on the flat one, It didn't take long to unloosen them. I pulled the flat one off these mother fuckers were a lot more heavier than they look, but luckily I managed to do it I picked up the new one but being only having so much strength I was finding it difficult to get it to go where I wanted it. I got so damn pissed off I started using every god damn curse word I could think of.

I sensed him before I could see him but how the fuck did he get here I didn't here his car. I tensed automatically I didn't mean to but I could smell his scent that was being sent my way from the wind blowing and what a smell it was all masculine. I was trying to calm my breathing not because I was panicking, but because I was finding it more and more harder to keep the fucking butterflies in my stomach from flitting around. But why was I feeling like this?, no other boy had ever had this kind of effect on me not that I have ever been with a boy let alone had a boyfriend. he then spoke his voice always sounded like velvet and always seemed to bring me comfort although I had only known him less than two weeks.

"Would you like some help?." He asked sincerely.

"No I've got it", I mumbled trying not to look too tense but I think he sensed it.

"Okay I'll just be here if you change your mind." He said walking back to his car and sitting on the hood of it still watching me.

I nearly dropped the fucking tyre on my foot while I was trying to get it into place. I heard Edward, chuckle behind me so I turned round and shot him a glare telling him to fuck off. I tried once again to get the tyre to go onto the car and fucking failed it was then that Edward came back from his car.

"Why don't you let me do that for you as it's clear you are having trouble with it, or do you fancy spending the entire night here?." He clearly stated, I took a minute to ponder on any other options but was unable to think of any so I finally relented and dropped the tyre to the ground and backed away so he could continue forwards.

He made quick work of changing it for me. I couldn't help but notice how the muscles in his arm contracted in and out as he worked, he had a bead of sweat running down his fore head and I felt my hand twitching to wipe it off his face but I remained in control. But It was so fucking damn hard trying to keep that control when I shamefully had to admit he had me seriously aroused I had never been aroused before. My body was on fucking fire just from being near him. But he could never have me that way nor could I ever be with him that way and that's what hurt the fucking most, that i would never be able to feel real intimacy from anyone without suffering a total break down.

But the more I was around Edward the more those feelings hurt, I needed to get myself together before he noticed me acting like a total freak. He was soon finished with the tyre and he even put my old one back in my trunk. I thanked him and got in my car and drove off leaving him there.

When I arrived home Charlie was already asleep in his chair. I went into the kitchen and started looking round for something to make for supper as I was starving. I found the Ingredients for Lasagna and tossed them all together and within 20 minutes It was ready for the oven. I decided while it was cooking I would do some home work I grabbed my back pack and pulled out My English assignment as it was due tomorrow, but I couldn't concentrate it kept drifting back to Edward and those feelings he was having me feeling. I wasn't used to them and they were driving me crazy and making me giddy all at the same time. What was I going to do? try and keep my distance from him. But that wasn't going to work as I had to do this fucking assignment with him, but I knew I had to try and detach my self from him getting too close as soon as I could but how?.

I was brought out of my rant from the buzzer on the oven, had I really been sat here for over an hour just thinking. I quickly put my meal on a plate and made a beeline for my bedroom not wanting to disturb Charlie. After successfully eating my supper I decided I wanted to read for a while and listen to my I pod maybe that could help me come up with a solution to this whole mess, even the soothing sounds of my bands were no fucking use. I was finally feeling tired so I retired to the bathroom to get changed for I was changed I came back to my bedroom, locked my door and jumped into bed pulling the covers with me.

Even though I was fucking tired my mind wouldn't let me sleep, I kept running through my mind the same thoughts how was I going to deal with these sudden feelings I was feeling for a boy I hardly knew. A boy who makes me feel safer than I ever been. A boy I wanted to know everything about.

Eventually I came to the conclusion, I was going to take a small chance and very slowly see where this leads me hopefully not to more pain.

**_Okay Bella's point of view is a little longer than Edward, as she is still dealing with a lot and needs to start figuring things out in order to move forward. I hoped this chapter did a bit of that as remember i'm not rushing their relationship but taking it in baby steps._**

**_I'd like once again the few people that have left reviews and added my story to their author and story alerts, It means so much to me._**


	15. Chapter 14

**I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like to thank the people that left reviews on the last chapter.**

**Epov**

When I arrived at school the next day I spotted Bella, she was sat on the hood of her car and looked like she was waiting for someone. I quickly got out of my car and walked towards her, I needed to walk past her to get to where I was going. She saw me and stepped off the hood of her car and surprised me by walking towards me.

"I wanted to say thank you for yesterday and sorry for rushing off, It was nothing personal against you I just wanted to get home to my dad." She bravely said that surprised the fuck out of me I'd half expected her voice to be the timid girl I had become to know for the last two weeks. I know that little admission there had to have been so fucking hard for her so I thought a little about what I wanted to say back and sound sincere at the same time.

"It was nothing I would have done it for anyone." But that was a lie I would not have just stopped my car to help just any fucking one. I stopped because I only wanted to help her and I hope she realized that she was the only one I didn't mind fucking helping.

"Okay but it was real nice of you to just stop like that and help me." She continued on bravely the electric current was in full circle around us,you could probably cut it with a knife if you had one handy. I reassured her again It was nothing and she finally bought it. There was a definite change in her attitude towards me and I really hoped it would continue like that. We said our goodbyes and she said she would see me in Biology, I couldn't help but do a little happy dance in my head she was finally but slowly getting comfortable around me.

The next two weeks were spent getting to know little things about each in Biology, I found out that she was musically gifted like me but hasn't played anything in a while. Her favourite colour Is green and her favourite past time is reading and she hopes to major in Literature or Music in college. The more I spent time asking her questions and getting to know the answers the more I found my self intrigued with her, and she in turn was a hell of a lot more relaxed towards me.

I did ask a few questions about her mum though and she tensed and had a far way look of real sadness so I didn't dare push her too far with any more questions on the matter. I also found out she had a fucking fondness for the same cereal I had. I was falling more harder for her everyday.

She would still hold back on some of the more personal questions but from the look on her face every time I knew not to push her,until or if she would ever be ready to share her past with me.

She was able to talk freely around me without all the tension she did have coming off her before. That in turn brought out more of her facial features she really was unlike anyone else I had ever met, sure her skin was pale but and not very interesting to some people, but to me I loved it . I had still yet to see her smile, I was always wondering what her face looked like lit up with a smile maybe one of these days I would get to find out.

At the end of our fifth week at school together Mr Banner wanted to assess the work we had been doing so far.

"I just wanted to see how the two of you are getting along with the assignment?. He said as we approached his desk, I looked over at Bella and she was as tense as hell. One thing over the last three weeks is that I noticed although she wasn't as tense round me, but she was always really tense around other fucking people. Even with my siblings at lunchtimes, Alice, was always there in the cafeteria to make sure Bella would join us, even if she did only sit there all the time without a word. It was obvious Alice and the rest of my siblings were becoming very fond with her and it hurt Alice like fuck that Bella would still not confide in in turn made the pixie give me fucking hell, making me tell her things about Bella, that could get Alice to break Bella's shell but I refused as It wasn't up to me to say anything about Bella. I just told Alice every time to give her fucking time and she'll come round when she's fucking ready, but that conversation always ended with Alice pouting and storming off which I found fucking funny.

"I'm very proud of this so far." Said Mr Banner bringing me out of my thoughts,"now I want you to concentrate on the topic of your assignment, starting with the first Important question on your list they were on your assignment paper." I looked at Bella she looked like a dear in headlights. I wanted nothing more than to tell it was okay and we would take this slowly but something told me even if I did say something she would still act the same so I just stood there and said nothing.

"Bella do you have any questions or problems with continuing on with the assignment?." Added Mr Banner.

"No." she replied holding her breath, I was so fucking confusing seeing her like this with everyone else, Yet she was acting more and more normal around me. I was looking right at her and she knew I was as she looked right back at me and calmed down a little. I know I sounded like a fucking girl but I couldn't fucking help it when I was around her. She seemed to bring that side out in me.

"Alright I will leave you two alone to get on with it, and see what you both come up with?." Mr Banner added as he walked away, It seemed that he sensed Bella's apprehension as well and didn't want to push her. I glanced back towards her and she was still staring at me with a puzzled expression in her eyes.

"What?," I asked confused.

"Nothing It's just that I get the feeling Mr Banner put us on this assignment together on purpose, I know It's fucking stupid but I saw the way he was looking at the both of us." She clearly stated, It was amazing how one minute her whole aura screamed frightened little girl, then when you least expected it she was the confident girl that I saw on a regular basis.

"Your right it is fucking stupid, can I ask you something personal and swear to me you won't tense up?." I knew I had to tread carefully with what I was about to ask her, I had wanted to ask her since last week when we had finally stated talking properly.

"Would you mind telling me was it true what you put to my question on the quiz?, I don't mind If you think I'm being too nosy and won't tell me. I just want to know for the sake of this assignment in case I do anything that is to un fucking comfortable for you?" her face suddenly turned bright crimson a new favorite colour of mine. I had been paying special attention to her for the last three weeks and had noticed little things about her, like when she turned bright red all over her face to her chest, _yes I had noticed how far her blush spread _I am a male after all and a teenage one at that.

And when she was tense or nervous she would bite on her lower lip and that always nearly made come in my pants, when she did that I couldn't help but wish that was me biting down on that lip. I always stopped myself from thinking too far in the fucking gutter where she was concerned. I couldn't just ponce on her right there and then and fuck her senseless she was too special for that and everyday I was realizing every day it was more than true.

"If I answer it do you promise not to be a fucking ass and go broadcast it all over the fucking school? I don't want anyone else knowing especially those two fucking Barbie wannabes got it?She said bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I fucking promise It'll strictly be between you and me you wanna pinkie swear or something?. I practically said begging and I think I fucking pouted a little, I looked directly in to those big brown orbs of her's to try and read what she was thinking.

" The answer I wrote was not true I still have my fucking V card and I've never had a boyfriend, but I don't know the fuck why I'm telling you this but when I'm around you I just feel normal and can talk to you and you have no fucking idea how hard that is for me to be near you without freaking out."

Did she just say what I fucking thought I heard her say? she was still a virgin and had never had a boyfriend. How was that even fucking possible this girl was fucking beautiful how could no one else have noticed that. All I can say is that some people are too fucking blind to see.

"I promise I won't say a fucking word especially not those two brainless skanks Lauren and Jessica I should know from experience what they are fucking like." I shuddered at the memories of how could I have been so stupid to let those two fucking whores even near my fucking dick. I had been questioning my self a lot lately I couldn't help it , being around her was changing me and I didn't like it but at the same time I have given up trying to fight my feelings for her.

"I believe you but if It comes back to me from any other ass hat in this school then I know who was responsible. And nobody will stop me from cutting your dick off. She stated looking deathly serious. She did something then I never expected I would see any time soon she smiled but It wasn't a full on smile but a smile at least.

She realized what she had done and Immediately pulled her jaw in to a tight line and looked down at the ground looking guilty as hell. Before I could register what I was doing I reached my hand out and cupped her cheek gently and lifted her face up towards me. An electrical current shooted all the way through my body but I ignored it and kept my eyes focused on Bella, but she didn't flinch and for that I was fucking grateful. I slowly began caressing her cheek and said.

"Hey don't be ashamed to fucking smile especially when your with me, that smile is too beautiful to fucking hide so don't okay?."

Her face turned bright crimson again and I chuckled.

"Okay she said ever so slowly." The bell rang disturbing our little conversation we said our good byes and we both headed in different directions me heading to football.

I decided then and there I was going to touch Bella swan alot more to hell with fucking waiting.

**_Okay I tried to to take their relationship a bit more further in this chapter please let me know if I did just that. Next chapter we will see what caused Bella to blush._**


	16. Chapter 15

**I don't own Twilight or any of It's characters. Stephanie does**

**Thanks for reviews for the last chapter. I just wanted to clear something up about Edward's little move from the last chapter, If you think he was too forward in caressing Bella's cheek then let me know?. I just wanted to explain that it took a lot for Edward to do that. Although he doesn't have the same problems as Bella, he does have a problem with intimacy, he has shut his self off from emotions since he blames himself for his family's death and has real trust issues as some have you have already read. But this Chapter will bring some of what Bella thought and felt when he did that .Sorry for the long note I just wanted you all to understand about Edward's sudden behaviour.**

**Bpov**

I really wanted to thank Edward for fixing my tyre last night but how?, The most logical time to do it would be biology but I wanted to do it before then. I was still contemplating how I was going to thank him while eating breakfast. I decided the only thing to do was to try and catch him before school that way there would hardly be anyone around. I quickly finished my cereal and deposited my bowl in the sink and headed back to my room to grab my jacket and back pack for school and ran to my car.

I was sat on the hood of my car going over exactly how I would thank him without sounding like a frightened fucking mouse. I didn't have long to decide as I saw his Volvo pulling into the parking lot, he got out and was walking towards me. I decided this was as good a time as any, I slowly pulled myself off the hood of my car and and walked towards him. He looked a little confused at first. I took a few small breaths willing myself to stay in control and just came out with what I wanted to say right there and then.

He looked to be deep in thought at first, but then he spoke saying it was no trouble and didn't mind doing it. I protested at first that it was nice of him to have done that, but he insisted it was noting and from the look in his eyes I knew he had meant it.

The next two weeks seem to fly I got to know Edward, a lot more we spent each biology lesson asking each other questions. The more and more I was around him the more I felt less tense and more comfortable, I found my self able to open up to him more. I found out we had a lot in common he played the piano and that just about sealed my friendship with him. What few people knew is I myself know how to play the piano and have done from the age of six, I've also learned how to play guitar and bass as well. I had no choice but to learn as Renee, went through a musical phase for years where she would make us both take lessons at different instruments but I stuck with the piano as I loved learning to play different compositions. I haven't touched a piano since that night, It brought tears to my eyes just by fucking thinking of her, how carefree she had always been. I held the tears back though as I didn't want Edward to see me breaking down.

Edward had asked questions about Renee on a few occasions but I didn't answer as it was still too painful luckily he didn't press me any further on the subject. But I found myself enjoying the lighter parts of our questioning , like how he loved the same fucking cereal as me and the same movies'.

I even told him I was hoping to graduate in Literature or Music. I don't know why I was even telling him all this I just couldn't seem to not act normal around him. He made me feel so safe and secure yet at the same time that scared me, every time I was around him it seemed there was fucking butterflies present in my stomach. They were only ever fucking present when I was around him. Plus you could always sense that electrical current that was only ever present when we were together.

At the end of the fifth week Mr Banner wanted to assess how far we had got with our questions about each other.

I was still as fucking nervous as hell around other people and then Mr Banner caught me off guard, he said he was very proud of us. He then stated we should start to work on the topics of the assignment, that meant we actually had to work together even closer. Fair enough I had become comfortable with Edward I guess you could say close friends. My face must have looked like a mask of shock at Mr Banners words because I could sense him staring at me, I looked towards him and he had a look of concern for me on his face, like he wanted to say something but had decided against it. Then Mr Banner spoke again.

"Bella do you have any questions or problems with continuing on with the assignment?."

"No." I replied while holding my breath to keep myself from hyperventilating. Edward was looking directly at me I could feel it so I stared right back at him, his eyes , presence always seemed to calm me down. But something else had just got my attention as well I couldn't help but notice the way Mr Banner was looking at us, could he have given this assignment to us on purpose?. It seemed like a fucking plausible explanation, I must have had a puzzling look on my face because Edward finally spoke.

"What?." he asked clearly giving me a look that he needed answers to my expression.

"Nothing It's just that I get the feeling Mr Banner put us on this assignment together on purpose, I know It's fucking stupid but I saw the way he was looking at the both of us." I said clearly. I think I sounded confident enough he answered that with a bit of sarcasm which I didn't mind.

"Your right it is fucking stupid, can I ask you something personal and swear to me you won't tense up?." What was he going to ask that would make me tense up.

"Would you mind telling me was it true what you put to my question on the quiz?, I don't mind If you think I'm being too nosy and won't tell me. I just want to know for the sake of this assignment in case I do anything that is to un fucking comfortable for you?". I couldn't help my body's reaction but it burst into fucking flames, not because of the answer I put but because I caught his predicament down below when he read it. It was a dead fucking give away when he was trying to hide it he didn't know I had noticed but I had. I always find my self spilling answers out with him It's like my mouth has forgotten it's filter and my brain, but something in my heart and mind keeps telling me he's safe. He probably thinks I'm a used up whore after that answer any way. I didn't want him to think of me like that so I decided to even the ground or so to say.

"If I answer it do you promise not to be a fucking ass and go broadcast it all over the fucking school? I don't want anyone else knowing especially those two fucking Barbie wannabes got it? I certainly didn't want those two fucking skanks knowing it would be all over the fucking school. They still shot me death glares even more so since Edward has started talking to me. I mean WTF? is their problem.

"I fucking promise It'll strictly be between you and me you wanna pinkie swear or something?." practically begging me and he pouted. He fucking pouted it made him look like a lost little boy, a beautiful lost little boy. It amazed me how everyday he looked more beautiful to me and I was just an average girl with no real qualities apart from being fucked up and disfigured.

" The answer I wrote was not true I still have my fucking V card and I've never had a boyfriend, but I don't know the fuck why I'm telling you this but when I'm around you I just feel normal and can talk to you and you have no fucking idea how hard that is for me to be near you without freaking out." He had no fucking idea how hard this was for me but I have come quite away in the past two weeks and I didn't want to end up going backwards again, talking to Edward these past two weeks have been memorable. He has made me feel like I'm somewhat normal again, given me some hope of living life again. he has managed what all my therapists failed to fucking do make a connection with me.

"I promise I won't say a fucking word especially not those two brainless skanks Lauren and Jessica I should know from experience what they are fucking like." He shuddered at that last part of his sentence. I wondered exactly what he meant about knowing from experience what they were like, I didn't dare ask as he might go and tell me to fuck off. Images ran around my head how can some one so beautiful like Edward let two fucking bimbos like that near him. I mean I couldn't help being a little fucking jealous as they probably go to do things to him that I could only ever dream about and those dreams would never be reality for me. They were normal even if they were fucking whores'.

"I believe you but if It comes back to me from any other ass hat in this school then I know who was responsible. And nobody will stop me from cutting your dick off." I replied looking deathly serious. I didn't realize I had even smiled at him at him till it was too late. I quickly withdrew my jaw into tight line and looked at something nonexistent on the ground to hide the look on my face. He then did something I would never expect anyone to do he reached out and cupped my cheek gently and lifted my face towards him and I didn't even fucking flinch. An electric shock shot through my body like fucking wild fire, he then began caressing my cheek ever so slowly. But why wasn't I stopping him or running away? , he then spoke so gently.

"Hey don't be ashamed to fucking smile especially when your with me, that smile is too beautiful to fucking hide so don't okay?." I involuntarily blushed I probably looked redder than a fire truck,I was never able to take a compliment and I certainly wasn't used to them from boys. Especially a hot one like Edward.

"Okay." I said slowly, the bell interrupted the rest of that conversation. We said bye to each other and went our separate ways me heading out side. I could still feel the sting left with his touch I lifted my hand to my cheek to feel where he had caressed It. I know I should have been panicking and all sorts of other stuff. But at that moment I didn't seem to care he had touched me like other had deep into my soul.

I just hoped that he could continue to heal everything about me. All I knew is I wanted Edward Cullen to touch me again if he ever tried again that is and that would be another fucking step forward for me.

**_Okay I was having a little trouble uploading this chapter. Thanks to Lamb Cullen for your help though. _**


	17. Chapter 16

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of It's characters. Stephanie does.**

**Epov**

I was a fucking idiot just touching her like that, I know what I had decided earlier that I was going to continue to touch her more. But fucking sitting here now I regretted it, hell she probably would not even fucking speak to me again and I wouldn't blame her. I knew I had to go and apologise to her but how? She wasn't even at school any more and I'm stuck here getting ready for practice which I really didn't feel like going through with today. I decided there and then to ditch practice and try to find Bella.

I quickly sprinted to my car after leaving the gym not even bothering to tell Coach Clap, her car wasn't in the parking lot so she must have gone home. I knew where she lived of course everyone in fucking town did especially with her being chief Swans daughter, I peeled out of the parking lot not really caring how fucking fast I was going . All I fucking knew is that I had to apologise to her and I shouldn't have touched her like that without her permission. I didn't want to lose the friendship we had so nicely built up these past five weeks.

I was sat outside the white two storey house going over and over in my fucking head how I was going to apologise to her and I wasn't going to leave till I did, I finally got the fucking courage to get out the car. I approached the door very slowly I knew Bella was in because her car was parked in the drive, there was no sign of the chief though for which I was grateful. As I didn't think I would get the chance to even get near the front door if he was there, me and the chief never really saw eye to eye. It would just piss him off even fucking more if he knew I was spending any time with his daughter. I walked up the steps leading to the front door and hesitated for a few minutes longer then wrapped twice on the door.

**Bpov**

I arrived home early as usual. I was still reeling from what had happened at school. Edward had touched me, he had actually touched me and I didn't flinch.

Why was this? Why was his touch so different from others? People had tried to make a connection with me before by trying to touch me and consoling me. But I had always flinched away afraid of triggering the memories. I shook my self from my thoughts and scanned the living room for any signs of Charlie, as usual he wasn't at home not that I expected him to be.

I didn't feel like cooking too much tonight so I opted for something cold and easy, Sandwiches being the obvious choice. I couldn't concentrate on the fucking sandwiches as my mind kept wondering back to to Edward's touch.

Which was fucking silly as I should have been concentrating solely on the task at hand especially with a fucking sharp knife, but it was too fucking late the damage had been done it took me a moment to realize it as well. I had accidentally run the blade through my palm while slicing vegetables. I winced and dropped the knife on instinct and then the memories began of all the fucking blood. I couldn't breathe the air around me was spinning and there was nothing I could do to stop it, the smell, the colour everything was there from that day like a fucking bad movie that wouldn't leave my fucking head.

My vision began to deteriorate in to almost nothing I knew what was coming, what always came after the dizziness. Just as I was slipping away I heard two distinct wraps at the door but there was nothing I could do and the blackness over took me.

**Epov**

I distinctly heard a loud crash coming from inside as I knocked. I thought maybe I had startled Bella so much that she had dropped something or fallen, she had told me about her clumsiness in one of our many get to know you sessions. But I realized this crash was too loud and heavy for her to have broken anything or just randomly fallen. I wrapped on the door again fearing the worst, I began to get frantic when I could no longer hear anything inside. I tried the door but It was locked and I was getting desperate now. I needed to know if she was okay I ran to the nearest window to see if I could see anything, but I couldn't so I began frantically making my way round the house looking through all the first floor windows still nothing that was until I reached what looked like the kitchen window, I quickly scanned the room at first I couldn't see anything then on my second scan of the room, there was Bella on the floor out cold I banged on the window furiously trying to get her attention. It was no use she was just lied there like she was sleeping, I was suddenly hit with an emotion that was unfamiliar to me. It was telling me I needed to get in.

I surveyed the property as quickly as I could to see if I could see an open window but there was none. The only other options were to kick the door down and hope for the best it would open or smash the kitchen window. I went with the latter choice as I had no way of knowing if they had a big ass fucking bolt on that door. I looked around the garden trying to find some thing heavy enough to smash the window. I quickly ran to retrieve a brick I had noticed, I took off my jacket I was wearing and wrapped it around the brick as the last thing I fucking needed is one of Bella's fucking neighbors calling the chief saying someone is breaking in to his fucking house.

I thrust my arm back as far as it would go along with the brick wrapped in the jacket to create some leverage for what I was about to do. I then thrust my arm forward and thrashed the brick into the window, glass shattered everywhere. I threw the brick to the ground including my jacket not really fucking caring about it, all I was bothered about was getting to Bella. I jumped through the window landing on the draining board and sink then jumped to the ground, making my way over to the lifeless body. I knelt down beside her not quite sure what to do at fucking first, i mean I didn't even know what the fuck was wrong with her so I just went with my fucking Instincts . I checked her neck for a pulse and let go of a breath I barely aware I was holding when I felt she had a steady pulse. I then reached out and brushed her away from her face on instinct it was then that I noticed she has smears of blood on her face.

I frantically looked where it had come from I checked her face but it wasn't coming from there. I then looked down to her hands and sure enough there was the blood I reached down for her hand to inspect it and there was a huge gash in the middle of her palm and there lying beside her was a knife with blood on it. I didn't have to be a fucking genius to put two and two together, the gash definitely needed stitches , but that would have to wait I needed to get her to wake up she looked deathly pale and so breakable it was fucking killing me in side just seeing her lied there. No life in there at all.

I gently put her head down on the ground and stood back up to get a cool cloth and some water for her to drink once I had located what I needed I returned to Bella. I was a little worried if I did manage to wake her up would she freak out at me for having hold of her and touching her, but I had no time to dwell on those thoughts. I would gladly accept any fucking consequences later all that matter in this moment alone was getting Bella, to wake up. I ever so slightly began bathing her forehead with the cloth and asking her to wake up and telling her everything was fine.

After what seemed like a fucking eternity she finally started to stir, It took her a few minutes to open up her eyes but she eventually did. I wasn't prepared for what happened next she opened her mouth and let out the most deafening bloodcurdling scream I had ever heard, she started trembling violently in my hands I tried to move back but I wasn't quick enough. She looked straight at me while still screaming and trembling, at first I thought she was just going to carry on screaming but she started panicking even more and I could tell she was struggling to breathe and then the screaming got louder on instinct I covered my ears with my hands hoping to fucking god she would calm down soon.

**_Okay I know you are going to go mad with me ending it there. Next chapter will start In Bella's point of view from the moment she woke up._**


	18. Chapter 17

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews so far they mean a lot..**

**Bpov**

Cold something was cold and wet and it was on me, what the fuck was it? My vision was spinning but gradually I was seeing some form of light. The cold was still there moving over my face and neck in a rhythm, the light was getting bigger and brighter and all I could hear was a gentle voice whispering everything was okay. I was also suddenly aware that who ever the fuck was talking had hold of my head but who? I was still pretty disoriented at this moment in time but within few mere seconds everything came rushing back to me at lightening speed the vegetables ,cut , blood and the feeling of nauseous it was then replaced by what happened that day seeing Mum and Phil I couldn't help the noise that came out of my mouth, My whole body was trembling I couldn't get rid of the visions it was at that point I looked directly up now my eyes were open.

There was Edward looking frightened as fuck, he tried to move away but wasn't quick enough his movement just made me panic more and I screamed louder. The visions just wouldn't stop I wass fucking praying so hard to my self wishing they would stop, instead of pushing Edward away I found myself reaching out to him, grabbing onto his clothes for dear life.

All I know that is in all the months I have had this attack I have had to suffer alone and never wanted anyone's touch or presence as I did Edward's, my grip tightened as the visions began to play faster and faster. _Dear god when will they ever stop? _I kept saying in my mind Edward's hold tightened around me he must have sensed that I was too weak to put up much of a fight, truth be told I didn't want to let go not ever. I had never been like this with anyone else. Everyone back home knew to keep their distance when I was like this. I found Edwards presence more soothing than anything I had ever known. I was now sobbing so hard onto his shirt he didn't seem to care but at least I had stopped screaming, my throat and mouth were very dry and sore from the constant screaming.

Edward was making soothing circles on my back and that was helping keep the visions to a minimum. It was what he said next that caught me off guard.

"Please tell me what the fuck happened to you Bella? That made such a beautiful girl into a quivering mess like this please tell me? I want to help. I want to know you. I'm so fucking tired of trying to stay away from you, please let me in? You don't have to tell me every thing just what you are comfortable with, don't suffer alone any more let me be there for as a friend if we can't be anything else but I'm begging please do not shut me out please?."

I was still too wound up emotionally to reply so he just kept rubbing patterns on my back. It felt nice, safe, but the feeling wouldn't last I knew it because I was just too damned emotionally drained and didn't have too much strength to tell him to back the fuck off but I would eventually. He would do something innocent and the safeness and warmth I felt around him would just go if I freaked out again. I didn't want to put myself or Edward through that.

I finally calmed down but my whole body was exhausted both physically and emotionally, but I still clung to Edward like he was my last lifeline. He still remained silent whilst still holding me.I finally decided it was my turn to talk he deserved at least some sort of reaction out of me. But for the fucking life of me how the fuck did he get in?.

"How did you get in? I said raising my head slightly my voice sounding strained. I had a sore throat due to the screaming I had done, I bet even the neighbours must have thought some body was being fucking killed in here or worse. I was still slightly dizzy but managed to focus on Edward's face. He was crying something I never thought I would ever see, I raised my hand slowly to his face and wiped his tears away softly. I was caught in his gaze his eyes looked so sad I just wanted to take his pain away like he was trying to do for me. There was nothing he could do for me though I was too far fucked up, I let my hand linger on his face a minute longer than I should. He reached out slowly and took my hand in his whilst his eyes remained locked on mine I could feel his warmth radiating through my body he clasped my hand in his and kept it there.

I don't know how long we remained there just gazing at each and holding hands. I was too lost in his beautiful green eyes to care but I knew we had to get up from the position we were in. Charlie would be home soon and would fucking freak if he saw Edward here. I detached myself from him slowly still not having enough strength to do it on my own Edward, helped me to my feet. Our silence still hung in the air unsure of what to say to each other. I had all these conflicting emotions running through me, but no idea of how to approach them. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep. Edward finally broke the silence while still holding me steady.

"Are you okay?, I could stay if you want me to." He still had tears in his eyes they were swollen and red as well and it was me who caused him to cry and I fucking hated it.

"Ill be fine you need to go." I croaked my voice still hoarse from my sore throat, "what I mean is Charlie will be here any time and I wouldn't want him to catch you here."

"Okay." he said hesitantly withholding what he really wanted to say, " will I see you at school tomorrow?.

"I will be there I promise theres no need to worry about me I can take care of myself." I said looking at the floor I didn't dare look at Edward's face if I did then I would probably break down again and I didn't want him to ever see that weak again. He finally loosened his hold on me and stepped back a few steps, it was clear he wanted to say more but hesitated. He turned towards the front door but spun back round.

"I'll pay for the damages to your window." he said pointing in the direction behind me I spun around and saw there was a fucking big gaping hole where the window used to be,_ so that is how he got in._

"It's okay I'll just tell Charlie I found it like that when I came home It's the least I can do after what you did for me." He tried to protest but the look I finally shot him, had him wafering until he finally decided to just drop it. he would never know how much he had helped me today. He finally retreated back towards the door I needed to thank him more but how? I was a bumbling mess who was trying to hold herself the fuck together. I panicked he was about to leave without me thanking him properly he probably though I was a selfish bitch. I felt fucking awful when I had noticed he was crying, he had shed tears for me and it broke my heart seeing him as vulnerable as me knowing that it had hurt even more that it wasn't pity in his eyes but understanding. I had alway seen pity in the doctors and therapists fucking eyes but I hadn't needed their pity I just wanted to be left the fuck alone to my own fucked up existence but not one of had listened. I know I was fucked up and there was nothing i could do to change it but just now what had happened Edward had just wavered my opinion quite alot. I actually thought now at least I have something small to live for, even if it wasn't quite a big thing I still wanted to hang onto it for dear life.

I was still panicking I needed to give Edward a proper thank you and needed to do it before he got any further I quickly bolted to the door and yelled.

"Edward wait!" he stopped dead in his tracks he was almost out of the front door. I walked to him slowly pulled him into a hug apparently my body was the one controlling my actions." Thank you," I whispered.

"It was nothing are you sure you are going to be okay? Just know I meant what I said earlier I'm here and waiting no matter what." I greedily breathed in his soothing scent he slowly pulled away and then he was gone. I took a deep breath and closed the door behind me only to fall to my knees and breakdown all over again.

All I knew later that night all through to the morning I slept nightmare free for the first time in a long time and that made another thing I had to thank Edward for I had wanted to do more than just hug Edward as a thank you but I just wasn't ready to go there yet. Maybe some time in the future.

But definitely not to day or tomorrow.

**_Okay this chapter is a little short I know but it was for a reason. Edwards point of view is up next and what he was feeling throughout the whole thing._**


	19. Chapter 18

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like to thank the people for the reviews they have been leaving and to the people who have put my story on alert. As I said when I first began the story, I will update at my own pace so please be patient I will get there.**

**Epov **

That was all it took for her to bring all my defences down, defences I had worked so hard to build over the years. Just looking at her trembling was heartbreaking, she had surprised me when she grabbed the fuck out of my shirt and I just let her grab and cling all she wanted. She was still screaming and I had no fucking idea how to help her I felt helpless, so I did the first thing that came to mind I started rubbing circles on her back and I clutched her tighter. She was still pretty much trembling and sobbing.

Seeing her this vulnerable was excruciating and almost impossible. Lying here was a beautiful girl so full of life ,what could have been so bad that it had reduced her to this quivering mess before me I wasn't really thinking when I blurted out my question, I just needed to know ,she didn't answer and I didn't force her. I just continued rubbing patterns on her back it seemed to calm her and this was the closest I had ever been to her, It felt nice like home. Like she belonged in my arms and nowhere else. I wanted to protect her even more from this moment I made a silent vow I would do just that.

The comfort I was providing for her was unreal to me. It had me drifting back to thoughts of my own family, My beautiful sister Tanya how she too was full of life, like Bella and I did something I hadn't fucking done in years I fucking cried. I cried for my lost family and how every day they were always on my mind and always will be. Most of all my tears were for Bella this beautiful person in my arms her sadness was turning into my sadness and she was fast becoming my whole life. Her voice startled me.

"How did you get in?." She asked raising her head slightly her voice was strained no doubt from the screaming, I bet her throat was really sore. She slowly raised her hand to my face and began wiping my tears away, I locked my gaze with her and was literally lost in those brown orbs of hers. She let her hand linger on my face and it felt so good there was a trail of fire where her hand was and I was revelling in it. I reached my handout slowly whilst keeping my eyes locked with hers and clasped her hand in mine and kept it there.

We were literally lost in each others stare, a place I never wanted to leave. She started to detach herself from me after what seemed liked hours gazing at each other. I knew she still didn't have much strength to do it on her own so I helped her to a feet , I still held her steady when I finally broke that lingering silence.

"Are you okay?, I could stay if you want me to." I know I had still had tears in my eyes but I couldn't care less she was my main priority and making sure she was okay.

"Ill be fine you need to go, "what I mean is Charlie will be here any time and I wouldn't want him to catch you here." He wanted to say something else but hesitated.

"Okay." will I see you at school tomorrow?" I said asked more as a statement than a question, as I really did want to see her at school. I had meant every word of my earlier statement. I was fucking tired of trying to stay away from her and from what happened here tonight it was going to damn fucking impossible to stay away.

"I will be there I promise there's no need to worry about me I can take care of myself." she said looking down at the floor rather than looking up at me. I couldn't even imagine what the fuck she was going through, I finally released my grip on her and stepped away only taking a few steps in case she still needed my help with standing. I turned towards the front door but remembering the window I swung back around to face her.

"I'll pay for the damages to your window." I said pointing in the direction behind her towards the kitchen window and she swung around to take a look, I would not be surprised if she called the fucking cops about the window.

"It's okay I'll just tell Charlie I found it like that when I came home It's the least I can do after what you did for me." she said startling me I started to protest that I was the one that fucking smashed it, so I'll be the one to pay for it. But the fucking look she gave me convinced me enough to wafer on my decision and fucking drop it. I retreated to the front door, I really didn't want to leave. I was pretty sure she would have another breakdown, that she was trying to put on a brave face and blocking her feelings out for my sake as much as hers. I slowly continued back towards the direction of the front door but also listening for any signs of another breakdown coming from Bella, I wanted to go back to her fast if there was. I guess you could say my overwhelming need to protect her was affecting my brain filter and that was telling me to carry on and don't look back, stay the fuck away you will only hurt her and your self if you try to get any closer. But in this fucking instant my heart was winning and I wasn't sure how I was going to handle all the new feelings running around inside of me, I only knew that I wasn't going to ignore them any longer. I was nearly at the front door when I heard Bella's foot steps and then her voice.

"Edward wait!" I instantly froze on the spot. She slowly came over to me and and pulled me in to a hug, her body just felt so right there, like we were made for each other two puzzle pieces that would never be complete with out each other. I couldn't think like that now , she was here giving part of herself to me, "Thank you." She whispered into my hair.

"It was nothing are you sure you are going to be okay? Just know I meant what I said earlier I'm here and waiting no matter what." I fucking meant it as well. I had to get away from here It was becoming a bit too overwhelming and I was afraid I would start fucking crying again and I didn't want her to feel fucking bad about it, so I slowly pulled away and got out of there as fast as I could I just need to clear my head before school tomorrow.

Once I was home I didn't bother stopping for something to eat. I needed to play and I need the fuck to play now, Bella was my new inspiration and plus this is the only way I knew how to clear my head. I was so lost in my music I hadn't realized the time. if I was going to be at school early to meet Bella, then I needed to get some sleep. I still had a million things running through my mind as I was trying to get to sleep._ Would Bella even show up for school tomorrow? If she did what would it mean for us would we go back to the same as we was before tonight or would she continue to let me in?_ My mind was a fucking mess. In the end I decided I would worry about tomorrow fucking tomorrow.

That night I dreamed of my family for the fist time in years but there was no guilt or sorrow, I realized it was because of Bella she was changing me, making me finally realize that not everything that happened to me was my fault. Still I knew deep down my guilt would always be here. My dream changed sometime in the night to a beautiful face and brown eyes, the same brown eyes I couldn't wait to see. Those brown eyes and beautiful face I wanted one day to make her mine and mine alone, that is if she would ever have me as more than a friend. I know I wanted more than friendship but I had to be patient and stay true to my promise I had made to her earlier in the day and I would do that for her. I wanted to make her smile like I had seen before but a genuine one not a fake plastered one.

As I went further into my dreams I dreamed of a future that we would maybe one day have , but first I needed her to trust me completely that she would confide to me what scared her so much. I wasn't very good at patience and if I tried to push her too fast then I would lose her, I don't think I could ever for give my self if that happened when I had only just gained part of her trust.

My dreams all seemed so clear yet my mind was all over the place. I just hope that some of my dreams do come true then my fucking mind would be at ease.

**_Okay so that was the chapter in Edwards point of view, there relationship is getting there and so is some of the trust. I'm really sorry if their relationship is going too slow but that is the way I intended it to be, as Bella has to be able to trust and love Edward completely before she can take anything to the next level. Please all of my readers let me know if you think they are going too slow or just at the right pace? _**

**_Oh and Just to let you know there will be a first kiss in the next couple of chapters._**


	20. Chapter 19

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of It's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like to thank all the people that have been subscribing to my story so far. It means a lot to me and gives me the inspiration to carry on. I'm sorry this chapter is a little later than when I usually post it.**

**Bpov**

I must be fucking crazing as well as stupid, well at least that was what kept running through my mind as I was driving to school. I had decided to come to school early even though I felt like evading it at all costs, but I had promised Edward I would show. It was the least I could do to thank him.

I pulled into the parking lot thankfully nobody was here yet, I wanted to go over in my head again about last night ,but all I kept thinking was what would happen now between me and Edward? , would he ignore me? I couldn't see him doing that as he was the one that practically begged me if I was coming to school, I couldn't admit to him I was fucking terrified I just couldn't. I hadn't been this close to some one in a long time and it was a pretty fucking big deal to me.

I felt him before I saw him. I know it sounded pretty fucking silly but it was true, whenever I was near or around him I could feel his presence even before he was near me. He came running towards my car with what looked like a look of relief on his face he then smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back, he looked like a little boy who had just won a toy he always wanted.

"Hi how are you today I thought you might have pulled a sickie after last night, not that I would fucking blame you." the concern was evident in his voice. He was still trying to be cautious in his words like if he said the wrong thing I would go running. I wanted to run yes, hell I even felt like it bit I owed him from last night. I really wanted to fucking show him as well I could do this, that I'm not just some weak girl, I could hold my own.

"I'm fine and I wasn't going to skip school as I need the grades for college and I did promise you I would be here I always keep promises. My mum used to say I was her little promise keeper and that she could always count on me to fulfil those promises....""

I stopped mid sentence not wanting to go on any further. It was the first time I had talked about her in a long time. Edward sensed my unease and didn't make me push it further.

"You know if you don't feel up to this then we can skip school?" He blurted out.

I gazed at him thinking was he crazy, I couldn't skip school I needed the distraction from my fucked up existence not only that Charlie would blow a gasket if he found out. Although he was right I didn't feel up to going today, I was still emotionally wiped out and that meant I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my classes.

"Do you trust me?" He suddenly asked bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Do you trust me?" he said again in a more authoritative voice this time. There was partial trust there yes but what was he asking was he asking did I trust him as a person? or did I trust him to do something that I wouldn't regret? My inner monologue seemed to play a pretty huge fucking part in my life. The question is should I say yes? Or should I say I need more time to answer that? But that wasn't fair to him he has done nothing for me not to trust him. I decided to go with my heart for a change it was telling me yes practically screaming yes at me. This morning I had decided I wasn't going to stay away from him and now I needed to honour that decision for once in my life.

"Yes" I replied. Everything went silent. All except for my fucking heart it was pounding in my chest

Like a fucking drum I bet Edward could hear it as well. I had butterflies in my fucking tummy doing a waltz, I realised that I couldn't just do a runner after admitting that so I had no choice but to just stand there. I took a look at Edward, he was just stood there staring at me, no scratch that he was studying my face looking for something I could only guess he was trying to see if my eyes or face were telling him the truth to my admission. He must of approved of what he saw as he grinned at me, it wasn't a fake grin it was a sincere one.

"You really trust me?" I nodded again to confirm I had meant it. I couldn't help but break into a small giggle he just looked so god damn cute.

"Yes I do trust you, you have never done anything for me not to trust you." I said sincerely.

"Good because we aren't going to school today,you are coming with me. He said grinning.

"Where?" I asked, what about Charlie? He'll go mad if he finds out. What the fuck was I saying? I had just said I trusted him and now I must sound like a real bitch not trusting him. My fucking emotions was all over the place and I just didn't know how to act around him,_damn fucking hormones you really have to screw my life up. _I looked directly at him and he had a knowing smile on his face which made me wonder did he have this planned this morning.

"You'll see but we have to take my car, are you okay with that?." he was fiddling nervously with the edge of his jacket, I had never seen him looking so nervous.

"I guess." I was as nervous as he felt, only I had no idea what he had to be nervous about I mean this person was like a Greek god I bet he had at least a dozen girlfriends in the past. Unlike me inexperienced at almost everything. I was brought out of my thoughts by the feel of Edward he was caressing my cheek much like he had yesterday and looking at me while doing it, he then reached out for my hand and grabbed it.

"Is this okay I just wanted to make sure you still trust me and is hand holding okay? fuck, what I mean is I meant every word I said to you last night , if it's too much then let me know I don't want to do anything to upset you. you are in charge of how we proceed just know that I need to be here for you and I'm not going to stay away any longer from you." I could tell he meant it from the look in his eyes."Okay how about we get going?"

He proceeded toward his car I followed him, he then surprised me by opening the passenger side door for me. I climbed in slowly muttering thanks, just as I was almost in I heard two familiar nasally voices. I glanced towards where they had come from It was Forks official Skanks, Lauren and Jessica. I glared daggers at them but they weren't paying no attention to me there stares were directed at Edward.

"Is she your new conquest Cullen thought you had better taste than that frigid Bitch?. Harped Lauren

I glanced towards Edward he had his fists clenched on the passenger side door, that was still open his knuckles were practically white from gripping the door so hard. I could tell by his look that he was about to say something back but I couldn't let him do that . If he did then he would be dragged down to their level and he was too good for that. I quickly without thinking reached out my hand and placed it on his shoulder, he looked a little surprised at first but turned and looked at me I was silently pleading him not to go back at them. He seemed to understand what I was trying to do, he calmed down almost immediately after, after one final look at those bimbos he finally closed my door after returning my hand to me gently and skipped round to his side of the car.

It had been raining all week in Forks pretty badly there were huge puddles all over the school parking lot. I looked at Edward and he had a devious look in his eyes, but before I had the chance to ask he started the car and asked me to put my seat belt on , I did and backed reversed the car out I took a second to take in more of the surroundings as he still had that look on his face. I never imagined him doing something like he did next there was a huge puddle over where Lauren and Jessica stood they barely had time to move as he raced through the puddle slamming on his brakes at the same time. All the water from the puddle splashed completely over the two of them drenching them from top to bottom, what would have made it worser is that all they both had on is short skirts and really tight tops they had to be pretty fucking cold.

All I heard as we continued out of the parking lot is the screaming from the two girls.

Halfway down the road from the school I turned and faced Edward, I could tell from his face he was trying to hide his laughter in. His face was all read and he looked like he was going to explode if he didn't let it out soon so I decided to tell him.

"You know you wanna fucking laugh so why don't you?. So he did,that in turn had me joining him, I had tears streaming out of my eyes from laughing so much. I hadn't laughed this hard in so long. I didn't wanna stop but I knew if I didn't I would end up having to look for the nearest fucking bathroom. I finally ended it and spoke.

"Are you going to finally tell me where we are going?, he didn't answer at first as he was still in hysterics he too had tears running down his face from laughing so hard. He didn't answer so Inudged him on his knee, earning a grunt from him.

"What? he said pouting.

"I asked you where are you taking me?"

"You'll see, Its a place I go to to be alone and relax I promise you'll like it so just settle down and enjoy the ride. I won't hurt you I promise okay?"he said sincerely while looking into my eyes. He then reached for one of my hands over the console and intertwined it with his and kept it there as he continued to drive like it was the most natural thing in the world between us and I didn't object or try to take my hand from his. He had become my place of safety and I didn't want to lose that.

It felt so right being here with him, I settled back in my seat to enjoy the rest of the ride with Edwards hand still in mine.

**Okay you might hate me from ending it here, but can you all guess where he maybe taking her ?**


	21. Chapter 20

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. Stephanie**

**I'd like to thank all the new people who have but my story on alert, you really all do rock.**

**It was indeed the meadow where Edward, is taking Bella.**

**Epov**

Fuck I had never laughed so hard, the looks on those Skanks faces were priceless. To say I had been pissed at those two would have to be an understatement, who the fuck did they think they were calling Bella a frigid bitch. Fucking whores. I wasn't bothered about them having a dig at me but Bella, she had done nothing to those two. I must have been on a pretty dense place in my mind when I went with those two.

I hadn't realized I had mcy fists so hard on the door till I had felt Bella's small hand on my shoulder, I was shocked at first but as I turned round and saw her face she was pleading with me not to do anything to those two I could see it in her eyes. I calmed down instantly under her touch , she always had a way of making me feel calm around her at ease as well as fucking nervous all at the same

I was fucking shitting my load worrying if she would even show at school today after what had happened last night. But yet again she had surprised me when I had saw her there parked in the lot relief washed over me, I practically ran towards her like a little fucking girl. She smiled back

I asked if she was feeling okay and told her I wouldn't blame her if she hadn't shown up for school. She said she had no choice as she need the grades for college I really wanted to ask her what college she was aiming for but I didn't I let it go. Then all of a sudden she launched into a conversation about her mum how she used to call her little promise keeper but before I go to listen to much into it she froze mid sentence, I didn't push her to go on as that had to have been fucking hard for her to. even open up that little bit of information she did.

I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Would she like to skip fucking school today and she just looked at e like I was fucking crazy, I then asked her if she trusted me and she replied yes but she still looked to be deep in thought so I asked her again a little more forcefully this time. She replied yes and that just made my day but I wanted to be sure she meant it so I started studying her face trying to find what I couldn't see, her eyes told me everything I needed to know I grinned at her she then said she did trust and I couldn't have been happier.

After what seemed like a fucking eternity in laughing I managed to stop, I had fucking tears streaming down my face from laughing so fucking hard I felt freer and a lot more light I hadn't laughed this much in years. I knew where I wanted to take Bella, I had since this morning. She had already asked me twice but I wanted to surprise her, this place was special to me, just like her. I glanced down at our joined hands. I am really glad she didn't move or force my hand away, she was definitely getting more comfortable around me. I glanced down at our joined hands really glad that she hadn't removed them, we both seemed to be comfortable with just the silence between us, or just that neither one of us had a fucking clue what to say to each other.

I finally reached our destination, I quickly the cut the engine and got out of the car to get to Bella's side. I opened her door for her and asked for permission to take her hand again and she nodded,I looked around at my place that I call my sanctuary. It was a small type of meadow wild flowers all different colors,long blades of green grass and about 200 yards to the east there was a small brook with a waterfall running down into it. This truly was my sanctuary I had found it a few years back whilst going on one of my long walks in the wood,I had instantly took a liking to it that I would come her on a regular basis just to be by myself away from all the crap in fucking Forks.

I looked at Bella but she wasn't even remotely looking at me she was too transfixed on her surroundings, I shamefully took the opportunity to get a better look at her. She really was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, so innocent yet so wise. I watched as the wind blew her hair into her face in this moment alone I would go as far as saying she was a goddess. Bella's voice brought me out of those thoughts of her.

"How did you find this place? it's really beautiful it really is, it's like we have just stepped into some imaginary world. Places like this just don't exist." She said still taking in her surroundings.

"It does in my world." I replied knowing exactly what she was talking about this place, I knew because it was the same way I first felt when I found it. I felt at peace here there was no one to bother you,you could be alone with your own thoughts and feelings. I asked bella to follow me further towards the trees there was some thing else I wanted to show her. I had built a kind of small shelter because sometimes when the weather was warm I would sleep here and I wanted Bella to know that she was welcome to come here any time she wanted. If she ever felt the need to get away for a few hours then this was the place for her.

We stopped at a nearby row of trees I stepped forward and pulled a way a few bushes to reveal my small shelter, I looked at Bella and smiled, she smiled back at me.

"The reason I brought you here is because if things ever get too much or you just need a place to think then you can come here, I found this place a few years back and I come here nearly all the time, to think,be alone or whatever the fuck I feel like."

"I'd really like that, thank you." She said gratefully, she looked different in this environment. Not as tense as she always seemed to be in school and it suited her, I liked seeing her like this with no worries playing on her mind.

"Would you like to sit a while?" I asked taking a seat down on the ground. She just nodded, I patted the ground beside me for her to come and sit next to me but still leaving a bit of space between us . There was another reason I had brought her here, we needed to talk and I thought this would be the perfect place to do that, I broke the silence first.

"Bella we need to talk about us, I mean this thing between us what is it?. I know I feel something other than friendship towards you, I just hope you feel the same way here or I'm looking like a complete fucking idiot here." I kept my eyes focused on her, I wanted to see her expression. I knew I wanted an answer straight away but the question was was she going to answer today truthfully without running for the hills or would she make me wait.

**_Okay I know you are all so going to hate me here but, I want to continue this conversation in Bella's point of view._**


	22. Chapter 21

**Once again I don't own Twilight, or any of it's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far it means a lot to me, also thanks to all those people again who have added me to their alerts.**

**Bpov**

His green dense eyes were burning holes in to my face, the passion in them was so fierce and alive I had never seen anything like it. My heart was thumping ten to the dozen, my palms had become sweaty. I wasn't ready to answer that or was I? My thoughts were all over the place. I felt what he had described, I feel it every fucking day I am around him and it kills me knowing that I couldn't just act on these feelings straight away like normal people. I would never be one of them, sure Edward, has made me feel something I never thought I would again. But that didn't mean I would be able to do anything about it so soon, to tell the fucking truth I was terrified of admitting these feelings to him in case he got too close and realized just how fucked up I really was. Then he would leave me behind and move on.

I was still sat lifeless,still unsure of what to say, he was still gazing right into my eyes. I could see fire in them,sincerity and honesty but that still wasn't enough to make me answer, this place where he brought me was fucking amazing like another world I never knew existed in this small shitty town. What meant the most is that he shared this with me, he shared a part of him self with me. This was his sanctuary and he was offering to let me use it whenever the fuck I needed, whatever the fucking reason I needed he said I could come here.

We just sat there gazing at each other no words were spoken,I was too lost in his beautiful face and eyes he really was the most beautiful person I had ever seen . I was finally brought out of my gaze to the feel of Edward's hand on my cheek, the touch alone was enough to send sparks flying up my body and wetness in the southern part of my body. Why was it that my body was reacting differently from what my brain was telling? Yes because my body knew what my mind wasn't ready to admit. That I was attracted to Edward in every possible way but there was no way I could just rush and go ahead and act on that attraction I really was fucking screwed up.

Edward continued rubbing my cheek as if it was the most natural thing, but he shocked me slightly by rubbing his thumb over my lips, I must have slightly gasped as Edward stilled his movements he then spoke.

"Is this okay I mean really okay,I'm really trying here to do things slow but I need to know your answer please? Please? If you can't answer right away could you please tell me that there is some hope for us at least, Then I know you aren't completely blowing me off I couldn't take that."He was literally begging and almost crying I couldn't fucking stand to see him crying again it almost crushed me last time and I didn't want to see that again so I said the only thing I could manage and the only thing that seemed right at this moment.

"I...I do feel like you I'm just not ready to act on those feelings,my mind is saying one thing and my fucking heart another thing, I'm just so mixed up at the moment, I can't fucking think straight just please give me a bit more time please?" At this point I was close to a mental breakdown, I had tears streaming down my face and I was so sure I sounded like a fucking baby blubbering. But Edward didn't seem to care he wrapped the whole of his arms around me and pulled me in to his lap, I clung to him for dear life, I didn't want to let go ever. He slowly started rubbing patterns on my back while while whispering all kinds of sweet words to try and calm me down. It broke my whole being in to tiny shattered pieces,knowing that I couldn't tell him straight away what he was wanting to hear.

He then moved his free hand to my hair and started stroking that whispering in my ear at the same time. I could feel the warmth from his body radiating off him I was greedily breathing in his amazing scent that was only him, he felt like home, somewhere safe and I didn't want to break his heart by denying him anything but it was too fucking hard for me to even try. my heart was screaming just fucking try, yet my head was more cautious telling me you can't chance it. what the fuck should I listen to?

He just sat there cradling me tight to him like I was going to disappear if he let go of me. I wasn't planning on going anywhere I guess you could say he was a part of me now, like I was a part of him whether we liked it or not. I slowly detached my head from his shirt where it had been lying against, his shirt was all tear stained from my blubbering, he looked down at me he had tears in his eyes again. This was getting fucking ridiculous I had brought him to the brink of tears again. I brought my hand up to his face and wiped a tear away that was cascading down his face, I locked gazes with him again his eyes were sop full of sorrow for me. Before I could comprehend his next move he grabbed my hand gently and pulled it towards his mouth, he looked at me for permission for whatever he was going to do I just nodded. He slowly place small kisses along my fingertips, sending small jolts up my body, he wasn't being fast or tooo forceful. I think it was his way of telling me that he was okay, he finally spoke just above a whisper but I could hear him clearly.

"I'll give you all the time you need I'll be here no matter, No matter how much time you need I'll be here waiting. All I know is I can't not have you ion my life you mean too much to me, for me to just give up on you."

I just looked at him, This beautiful person with me was willing to wait for me. But I couldn't give him the false impression that anything would happen sooner that wasn't fair to him. to make him wait forever for me, it just wasn't he still had hold of my hand was now interlacing his fingers with mine, this is the closest I had been to anyone in a long time it felt right. but I knew this couldn't last, I grabbed his cheek with my free hand and brought his face level with mine so I could tell him what I needed to.

"I want to be honest with you, please don't waste your life away, waiting for me? I'm a fucking lost cause and that is not going to change. I'm too fucked up and one day you are going to realize that and I can't put you through that as you mean too much to me as well."He grabbed my face with his free hand grabbed my face and made me look into his eyes, he was still crying.

"Bella look really look at me I wouldn't have fucking said the things I did if I didn't fucking mean them, I did and I will not have you saying fucking things like you just have about yourself. You're not fucked up, You're one of the strongest people I have ever met, the most beautiful and fucking smart to boot, I'm not leaving you so get the fuck used to it and to prove it I want to tell you about my past you are not the only fucked up person here." I continued to gaze into his eyes he was being honest and that he meant it his eyes were telling me that and something told me I wasn't going to win this fight.

"Did you know I was adopted?" he said I simply nodded no, he continued his story.

"I'm originally from Chicago, I lived there till the age of fourteen, my real parents and sister were killed in a crash,while I was in hospital. You want know why they were killed? it was all my fucking fault, I got involved in one of the local gangs in my neighborhood. from there it all went down hill I made my family's life a misery, drugs, parties, girls and staying out all grade at school were suffering I even started skipping fucking football practice to hang out with the gang. My relationship with my sister became strained that in the end we wouldn't barely speak to one another,I ended up in hospital and my family ended up in coffin boxes while trying to come and see their son in fucking hospital." His face was pulled into a grimace,he had tears cascading down his face,I involuntarily detached my fingers from him and put my arms around him to comfort him. How could he think his parents death was his fault,he was in hospital, there was nothing he could have done . he clung me tighter to him.

We just sat there clinging to each other, I had no idea how much time had passed till I felt sharp pelts of rain coming down in droves. Edward and I quickly detached from one another,he grabbed my hand to help me to my feet but keeping hold of my hand. we began making a dash back the way we came to his car.

Edward pulled up outside my house thirty minutes later, His dashboard clock registered it was sometime after five. I can't believe we had been at the meadow nearly all day, I decided to break the silence first.

"Thank you for today, I really needed it, I'm so sorry that I couldn't give you the answer you wanted straight away. I'm just not ready."I turned my body towards him he was still silent ,not saying anything,his face was a blank mask of emotions that I was unable to read.I wasn't going to push him into replying or anything like he never pushed me into anything.

I was about to tell him goodbye when he reached his hand out and took one of mine in his,much like he had done earlier and grasped it in his he finally spoke it was barely above a whisper though.

"Can I see you again? outside of school, I can't stand to just see you at school, I could drive us Port-Angeles, Seattle just to hang out as friends maybe grab some lunch please say you'll at least think about it?.

"Okay." I replied not wanting to disappoint him further than I already had done, he didn't give me time to breathe as he pulled me into fierce hug. I wrapped my arms around him I know it was only a friendly gesture on his part, but it was becoming second nature to me to be wrapped in his arms like a security blanket.

"That's to also thank you for today, you helped me in a way you'll never I just try one thing before you go." he whispered into my neck.

"Sure."I replied as he un hooked me from him.

"You have to try and not tense up I just really want to try." he brought his hand up an cupped my cheek I Instantly knew what he was about to do but I wasn't quick enough to respond he attached his lips to mine not forcefully, more like gentle but with a bit of pressure there. I was frozen at first he started stroking my cheek and that seemed to relax me, I wasn't sure how to kiss a boy I had never even had a boyfriend, but my body seemed to have a mind of it's own so I had no choice than to surrender to my instincts. I slowly allowed him entrance to my mouth he was being so gentle his tongue entered my mouth but not all the body felt alive.

The kiss was very slow he seemed to know what i was able to take my breathing was erratic and so was his. We finally needed air he was the first to break contactbut peppered me with a few small kisses on my lips and cheeks. I blushed a bright crimson.

"Now there's that fucking blush I like so much." I couldn't help but giggle at his statement, he then detached his self from me completely I instantly felt his loss. but I needed to get inside before Charlie came home. I reluctantly said my good byes and got out of his car not before Edward managed to leave a chaste kiss on my cheek.

All I know is that night when I went to bed It was the first full night I dreamt of Edward Cullen and no nightmares.

_**I'm sorry that this chapter took longer to post than I usually do , I've just been so busy that I have hardly anytime at all for anything. Well here it is anyway can you pleae let me know if the kiss was too fast and did I write it okay.**_


	23. Chapter 22

**Once again I don't own Twilight or any of It's characters. Stephanie doe**s.

**Epov**

Fuck that was the most emotional day I have had in a long fucking time, Bella had managed to break down my last remaining barriers to my heart, the barriers I had fought so hard for so many years to keep up, I was officially an emotional fucking wreck all her tears had become my tears. She had literally broken into my heart and my soul and there was no way I could imagine my life without her in it.

She never judged me when I told her about my past she just clung to me like I had her, just the way I wanted it to always be between us, I knew Bella pretty well now to determine her character. She was selfless above all else, kind, sweet and to me as sexy as hell but I had to withdraw any thoughts like that of her. I had to go especially slow and very careful about the intimacy issue and trust me that was one hell of a fucking big job for a horny teenager, but I would do it for her. She was my life now and I would do anything to make her happy and protect her.

There was just one thing I had been dying to do for the past two days. I had wanted to kiss her and that's just what I did. Her lips were so soft and warm against mine I had wanted to stay there for ever kissing her but I knew anything further would have been too much, when we had finally come up for air I didn't end the kiss there I peppered a few small kisses on her lips and cheeks and she blushed. She turned that bright colour I loved so much, I told her so and she giggled.

I had really wanted to keep her in my car with me, but I knew she had to get inside before the chief came home. The last fucking thing I needed was the chief seeing me parked outside with his daughter in the car and him in full uniform, I could just imagine him pulling up in the car and seeing me there kissing Bella, and he would be holding his hand on his gun holster ready to do some damage. That thought alone scared the fucking shit out of me, so I knew,I had to let her go, but I also remembered in that particular moment she had agreed to see me again this time out of school and that made me feel some what contented. I had already started formulating a plan where I could take her, fuck I was turning into a real prissy and I couldn't seem to give a fuck she was my fucking life now and she is all that mattered to me everyone else could just go and fuck themselves.

After we had said our good byes she proceeded to get out of the car, I grabbed her arm gently and pulled her back to me and placed another chaste kiss on her cheek, while whispering to her I would see her at school tomorrow. I kept my eyes on the rear view mirror as I was driving away just to make sure she had gone in the house safely and when she had, I raced towards home with what people would describe as a silly fucking grin on my face and I didn't fucking care.

Esme was in the kitchen cooking when I arrived home. She asked me how my day had been I just tried to act as normal as possible, as much respect and adoration I had for Esme, I wasn't ready for anybody to know about me and Bella, just yet. I wanted to keep whatever it was that was going on between us. Not that I was ashamed of Bella,or anything I was just afraid that I would fuck up and I would end up hurting her. That was something I never wanted to do,so for now I wanted us to remain a secret for now. I was pretty fucking sure that was what Bella, wanted as well.

I had dinner with the whole family like any other night, I kept my self to my self but my mind was other wise occupied, thoughts of Bella were plaguing me, of our kiss earlier, how I could still feel the tingle of her lips on mine. I was brought out of my thoughts to six pairs of eyes watching me intently I just ignored them and carried on eating but was cut short by Esme's concerned voice .

"Are you okay? Edward you seem a little preoccupied tonight, do you want to to talk about it I'm here if you do?." I just nodded no to answer her and she let it go. After I had finally finished dinner I thanked Esme for dinner and made a beeline for my room so there would be no more interrogation, I couldn't do with any of that shit tonight. I just wanted to be alone with my own thoughts and play something new that had been swimming the fuck around my head for the past couple of days,I know exactly what had inspired it. Bella, she was the reason for the music in my head and in my heart and i wanted to develop that into something I could play. So I did I played there was no tomorrow, lost in my own little world I was fucking loving it. I knew from playing that song and turning it into something tangible, something of meaning and it was like an epiphany had hit me straight on in that moment. I suddenly knew what I wanted to do with my life and that included Bella, college and a future and I was going to fight for it all. I have spent the past 4 fucking years trying to survive this fucked up town and graduate high school and get the fuck out of dodge once and for all and never look back, but now I had something and someone that meant something to me.

I also realized in that moment that I wanted to do in college and what degree I wanted and what I wanted to my life's work to be. Music it had always been there in front of me, I had just been too fucking blind to accept it. I wondered what colleges Bella would be applying for that in return gave me a new round of emotion, fear, fear that I would not be able to be apart from her without having a total fucking break down. There was just so many thoughts and feelings all at once running inside me, I had to admit I was pretty fucking terrified of each and every thought and feeling plaguing me.

After what seemed like hours of turning that melody into an existent lullaby, I got out my recording stuff from my closet and transfered the lullaby on to cd. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the lullaby, I was going to give it to Bella as a way of showing how much she inspired me and how much she meant to me. There was just the problem of how I was going to give it to her, maybe after school tomorrow or when I finally go to take her out but ,I wanted it to be special she deserved a whole lot more than I could give her but I was going to try.

I needed to get a grip on my thoughts and emotions, I needed to get some sleep or by the time morning came I would be in no fit state to met Bella and I wanted to focus all my attention on her. Unfortunately my eyes were doing the deciding for me as I began to feel my self drifting. I quickly made my way into my bathroom to get changed and after doing say I slumped down into bed and It wasn't long before the darkness took me.

My dreams were filled with images of my long lost family,Bella,Carlisle,Esme and the others all fading in and out of reality each representing my different thoughts and emotions. By morning I was no more closer to dealing with my thoughts and emotions than I had last night, but one thing I was sure of is that they all came back to one person Bella, she was consuming every thing thoughts, feelings and the electrical pull between us was near over drive and I wasn't sure how much longer it would be before it burst full strength leaving me even more incapable of being able to stay away from her at all. She was becoming like an addiction for me, one fix and I was hooked for life ans she was the fix I would need to get me through everything. I decided then and there I wanted all that a life with her possibly a future for us both.

I drove to school that morning with a new determination, I was going to ask a special someone to be my girl,in hopes that she would accept and to hell with every other fucker.I wasn't going to let them interfere this was a new chapter forming in my life and it was something I never thought I would have, I thought I never deserved but Bella, had shown me in the few months that I had known her what it was like to have feelings again, feel human and alive and i was going to do just that live my fucking life.

I was now more clear headed than I had been been on a long time as I drove to school to meet Bella, the only thing now that was worrying was would Bella want to forget all about yesterday and go back to the way things were, or would she realize just as much as me something special was developing between us and want to explore it more. I was fucking hoping to god it was the latter choice...

_**Okay so this Chapter is a little shorter than the other but I have been really busy with real life and kids lol...**_

_**i'd like to thank everyone again for their reviews it means alot to me with this being my first try at writing so thanks.**_


	24. Chapter 23

**Once again I don't own Twilight, or any of It's characters. Stephanie does.**

**I'd like thank all my readers again for the reviews. I'm sorry this chapter is a little late**.

**Bpov**

I must be dreaming, that would have to be the only fucking explanation, to how the fuck I was feeling. Damn I was really feeling something and it all felt like a fucking dream only this time I'm the main star,Edward had made me feel more alive,happy and free than anyone else had ever had.

Today was going to be a hard one for both of us would we go back to the way we were before or would Edward, want to carry on with where we had left off yesterday, there was just so many emotions running through me that I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything else.

Those same thoughts and feelings were plaguing me as I drove to school.

I pulled into my usual spot in the parking lot. Edward was not there yet for which I was grateful for, I needed to get my thoughts and feelings under some kind of fucking control, before I lost it in front of him completely. The butterflies in my stomach were not helping much either. I took a quick glance around the parking lot to see if anyone was watching me, there wasn't hardly anyone here I could have at least time to get my self together before Edward ,finally showed,but what if he didn't show up today at all?, what if he thought yesterday, the kiss, everything was a big mistake. I would be left looking like a complete idiot.

Fair enough that had been the first kiss I had ever had, it had been amazing I could still feel the tingle of his touch on my skin and I knew for sure more than anything I didn't want to lose that. But at the same time I wasn't ready to rush things and this meant me and Edward, needed to talk today we barely talked yesterday or should I say I barely spoke two words,unlike Edward, who told me a bit about his past. I was so heartbroken for him how he could carry the burden round for so many years blaming himself for his families deaths. There had been nothing I could even comprehend at saying to him so I had just clung to him and let him cry himself out.

I was too lost in my thoughts that I didn't recognise two familiar heads of blonde hair approach me.

"Hi Bella, sneered Lauren, Jessica was stood about 2 inches behind her snickering. What the fuck? did these two want I wasn't in any mood for their comments or snide remarks I began walking away slowly not wanting to talk to them for even a second. I didn't get far when I felt a sharp pain in my left arm. I turned to look ,but wishing I hadn't Lauren had hold of my arm and was digging her plastic nails into my skin and there was blood seeping out of the open flesh from her nails, I was too transfixed on the blood to hear anything she was saying.

All of the memories of everything hit me so hard, I felt the familiar tightening in my lungs, I knew what was about to happen, my breathing was getting out of control, I could barely move all I could see was his face those malicious cold blue eyes. The last thing I remember before the numbness and dark took me was Lauren's voice clearly telling me that was payback from yesterday and to keep the fuck away from Edward.

Too bright was my first thought, the light was too bright. I heard voices in the background they were all muffled I couldn't tell what the fuck they were saying. My throat felt like shit and my fucking head was pounding. But the biggest question of all was, where the fuck was I? My vision was all blurry, I just needed to get my self together but I could barely see any of my surroundings. After what seemed like fucking ages my vision was somewhat becoming clearer and my hearing somewhat normal and could eventually hear everything again, along with the muffled voices I had been hearing. I immediately recognised the first voice, it was full of worry and anger and most of all sadness.

It belonged to Edward he was shouting at some one who I assumed was either a teacher or nurse as from the looks of my surroundings I was in the school medical room. He was using all sorts of words in the vocabulary he could think of to throw at the other person. I slowly tried to move but as I did I felt a sharp pain shoot up my arm. That alone caused me to whimper the pain was so sharp, Suddenly two arms wrapped them selves around my shoulders and pulled me towards the said person I didn't have to look to know who it was, Edward, he pulled me toward his chest and held on to me tightly.

"At fucking last I thought you would never wake up and this Idiot here would not tell me any fucking thing, I found you outside just as you collapsed I was so worried don't ever scare the fuck out of me like that."His voice pleaded, I lifted my head up to face him. I needed to see his eyes they always told me what I needed to see and right now I just needed him close, he lifted a stray piece of hair out of my eyes and gently placed it behind my ear whilst still holding me tightly to him.

"What the fuck happened Bella? and no fucking lies I saw those two fucking skanks walking away from you."He asked finally breaking contact with me, I couldn't answer if I did he would go and do something stupid and that was the last thing he needed.

"Just tell me Bella please? if you don't I'll only go and find out my self and trust me you don't want that now just please fucking tell me?. I gasped at his tone of voice he had never used this tone with me before it was almost demanding, I stared at gim a few minutes more before finally relenting he had that look in his eye that clearly stated he wasn't going to back the fuck down.

"It was nothing Edward, really she just grabbed my arm and said something to me that's all I'd rather forget it please?... I pleaded with him, but he just wasn't going to back down.

"Bullshit!! Bella, I'm not forgetting this those 2 bitches said something to make you end up here I wanna know now? His eyes turned an angry black and I knew he was dead serious not even talking to him to let it go was going to be an option. I raised my hand to his cheek and brought him eye level with me, but then flinched at the sudden pain. Edwardnoticed my distress and grabbed my arm gently and rolled mysleeve up revealing the nail marks that Lauren, had inflicted on me. this sent him into a bigger frenzy.

"Which one of those bitches did this Bella! no arsing around I wanna know now!!" his fists had clenched into a tight ball and he looked like he was fucking ready to explode.

"Now Please Bella? his voice softened abit and he was really pleading with me this time, I just swallowed.

"Lauren" I all but whispered. He was off and out of the room faster than a tornado, I needed to stop him before he did something he would regret. I quickly jumped off the bed I had been lying on , I was still a bit dizzy but that didn't take long to subside and took off after him. He was nowhere to be found so I began to calculate where he might have gone. I remembered then that Lauren and I were in the same Lit class and fully knowing edward would have known that too that Is why I needed to catch up with him and fast.

I headed straight for Lit class but It was too late there was already a commotion going on there. It didn't take a genius to know what, I entered the classroom and surely enough there was Edward, he had Lauren backed into a corner yelling allsorts of threats and the my Lit teacher was trying to get him to release Lauren. But he wasn't having any of it his hands were raised into fists above Lauren's head,she was cowering down as far as he could go.

"You listen to me good bitch and listen good ever touch or even look at her again you'll get much worser than a warning."he was screaming hysterically at her, I needed to stop him before he went too far, the whole classes' eyes were on Edward. I gently proceeded towards him slowly.

"Edward please? she isn't worth it just let her be please?, I just want to forget abour her and her fucking friend, they don't bother me. Please? just please? step away."he didn't though he just looked at me livid. He finally backed away from Lauren, who was now glaring daggers in my direction but I didn't give a fuck Edward was the only one I was bothered about, _fuck her the bitch_.I took his hand and lead him back out to onto the corridor I was just glad he didn't put up a fight.

"What the fuck Bella? he said glaring at me.

"Never mind what the fuck? are you fucking crazy?, are you really trying to get the fuck suspended? I babbled incoherently not really making sense. How could the fucking Idiot just go after her like that?. I just carried on babbling while Edward was thinking about fuck knows what.

"I'm sorry Okay, I just fucking lost it when you told me she had hurt you." he said whilst grabbing onto my arm to inspect the damage, he was so gentle that I had a hard time believing that there was the other side to him I saw moments ago.

"I couldn't give a shit about that bitch you know that right? I said looking up at him hoping to convey the message with my eyes whaI couldn't explain verbally, he must have see it as he whispered another apology and pulled me tight against his chest and wrapped his arms aoround my waist. I gladly welcomed the embrace, I was going to talk about us today but here , now, just didn't seem a good time. We just stood there holding each other, I realised there was still alot we didn't know about each other. I guess we would just have to learn and talk things through in the future, all I knew is I didn't want to lose these new feeligns I was having or Edward. I don't think I could ever exist again if I lost him.

"Your forgiven I whispered against his neck and he pulled me even tighter against his chest and I just let him, whilst taking in his scent. He really was forgiven.

_**Okay Next chapter wil go back to Edward's point of view where he turned up at school from there and so on**_


	25. Chapter 24

Once again I don't own twilight, or any of it's character. Stephanie does.

Epov.

I pulled Into the parking lot, with a strange feeling in my stomach, my suspicions were confirmed when I saw Lauren, and Jessica hunched over Bella, who was laid lifeless on the floor. They were laughing I saw red ,my blood began to boil, I quickly jumped from my car not even fucking bothering if it was still running or not .All that mattered was Bella, not anything fucking else, everyone else could got to hell for all I care. I bent down to check her pulse, it was still beating thank God, I lifted her gently off the ground and began to carry towards the school entrance.

The nurse was no where to be fucking found in the medical room, I gently placed down on one of the medical beds in the room and went back out to try and find where the fuck the nurse was? I found her in the main foyer cataloguing some files, which I was presuming were student medical files. I couldn't really give a shit I needed her to come and see Bella and I needed her to do it now.

"I really need your help, there's a young girl lying unconscious in the infirmary". She looked up from her files and began to follow me, I quickly picked up my pace wanting to get back to Bella, as fast as I could. The nurse was trying to keep up with me, we made it back to the infirmary in under two minutes. She began checking Bella's vitals but I was still not satisfied I wanted her awake not laid there as she was .

I began arguing with the nurse calling her every thing I could think of, this idiot was telling me nothing and I was getting pretty frustrated. I heard a small whimper amidst all the shouting I quickly looked around and there was Bella, she was whimpering in pain I leapt forward and brought her into my arms, I removed a stray piece of her form her face and gently place it behind her ear.

"At fucking last I thought you would never wake up and this Idiot here would not tell me any fucking thing, I found you outside just as you collapsed I was so worried don't ever scare the fuck out of me like that?" I practically said begging to her.

"What the fuck happened Bella? No fucking lies I saw those two fucking skanks walking away from you." I said finally letting go of her but not completely. She just sat there looking at me,looking worried but I was not going to give up till I knew what those bitches had done.

"Just tell me Bella please? if you don't I'll only go and find out my self and trust me you don't want that now just please fucking tell me?. She gasped at my tone but I wasn't going to give up until she told me what the fuck they had said and done to her. There was no way I was going to relent this time I know my tone must have sounded demanding , but I didn't care I needed her to know that I wasn't going to let this go at all.

"It was nothing Edward, really she just grabbed my arm and said something to me that's all I'd rather forget it please? She pleaded with me, but I was too hyped up now to let it go. These bitches had gone too far now and I was going to make them pay .

"It was nothing Edward, really she just grabbed my arm and said something to me that's all I'd rather forget it please?. But I was not prepared to let this go and she knew it as well.

"Bullshit!! Bella, I'm not forgetting this those 2 bitches said something to make you end up here I wanna know now? She must have sensed the seriousness in my voice, because she brought her hand to my cheek and pulled me so I was at eye level with her . She then flinched in pain, she tried to hide it but I knew it was because she was hurt. I gently grabbed her arm and rolled her sleeve up slowly and there was what looked like big nail marks in her skin. They looked a god damn mess. I lost all thought at that moment I was going to make whoever did this pay and I was not going to let them off lightly either.

"Which one of those bitches did this Bella! no arsing around I wanna know now!!" I clenched my fists tightly as she was being god damned fucking stubborn.

"Now Please Bella? I pleaded softening my voice a little , but still letting her know I meant business.

"Lauren" she all but whispered I was out there faster than ever, I knew where I was heading to and she was going to pay for what she did to Bella. I made my way to lit which was on the other side of the building, I was getting some pretty nasty stares but I couldn't give a fuck. I arrived outside Lit class just in time to see that bitch heading in side, I hung back a bit just to let her enter as I was going to make sure everyone knew what she had done to Bella. I approached her just as that other bitch Jessica and her sat down.

"Hey Edward, long time no see" Sneered Jessica, Lauren just did her best attempt at fluttering her eye lashes at me. she just ended up looking like a constipated over done poodle.

"I want to know what fuck? Gives you the right to do what you did to Bella? She has never done anything to you to deserve that you spineless harpy" She just looked at me dumbfounded.

"We only told her a few home truths it's not my fault your girlfriend can't handle them and is such a freak" She retorted, that did I lost any self control I had.I lunged forward and grabbed Lauren, by her neck I pushed her into the nearest wall and started yelling all kinds of threats, My fists were in the air and I noticed the teacher trying to pull me off her. There was no way in hell I was going to let her go.

"You listen to me good bitch and listen good ever touch or even look at her again you'll get much worser than a warning" I all but screamed at her, I felt a familiar presence approach me I knew it was Bella.

"Edward please? she isn't worth it just let her be please?, I just want to forget abour her and her fucking friend, they don't bother me. Please? just please? step away." She was begging me but I was not going to let go of this fucking bitch. Something inside of me though made me listen to her. I backed off Lauren, Bella took hold of my hand and lead me outside into the main corridor.

"What the fuck Bella? I said glaring at her , why the fuck would she do that stop me?

"Never mind what the fuck? are you fucking crazy?, are you really trying to get the fuck suspended? She started babbling, in that moment I felt like a complete ass hole. I needed to do some damage control and I needed to do it now.

"I'm sorry Okay, I just fucking lost it when you told me she had hurt you." I gently grabbed her sore arm to inspect more of the injury, the nail marks were clear to see.

"I couldn't give a shit about that bitch you know that right? She said looking at me with those deep brown orbs. I knew exactly what she was trying to tell me. I apologized once more and pulled her tightly against me, I needed her to be close to me. We just stood there for what seemed hours just holding each other.....After a few minutes had passed she whispered in my ear.

"You're forgiven" I knew she meant I was as well. I just pulled her tighter against me never wanting to let go and risk losing her.


	26. Chapter 26

Just a small update! Sorry It's been so long since I've worked on my fic, but I've been awfully busy and in hospital for a major heart operation.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I will be continuing on with the rest of the story now that I've got some free time on my hands.

Happy New year to all of you and I hope you all continue to read as I really want to finish the rest of the story.


	27. Chapter 25

Once again I don't own twilight, or any of it's character. Stephanie does

Bpov

As if I wasn't going to admit that the next 5 days in school were certainly touch and go. Lauren, had a scowl on her face the size of my truck and whenever Edward wasn't around she still made it a point that I was her enemy still, but I could care less for the blond skank and her glued up friend with a face that looked like an angry chihuahua that was trying to look tough but failing miserably. When Edward was around she didn't even blink at me.

As the fifth day of this week was approaching Mr Banner asked both me and Edward to stay behind.

I nervously sat fidgeting with my hands clasped onto Edward's under the table and waiting for what ever the fuck Mr Banner wanted. Edward was fiddling with his damn Ipod, I hissed at him to pay attention just as Mr Banner's voice broke me in mid-sentence.

"I'm just wanting to know how the project is going and that you don't have much time left overall, I would like to see a full documented assignment by the deadline of term please?"

I just sat there looking or more like gaping at the floor as I knew what was the next part on the assignment list and my face lit up like a hot strawberry, I didn't know what or how we were going to do this part of the assignment at all. We had the trust, getting to know each other part down as well as the likes and dislikes of each other. The next part was re-enacting living a teenage romance. We hadn't discussed this part yet, but we knew we had no choice but to now. I looked up from the where I had been gaping at the floor to see if I could make out Edward's reaction and I swear I could see him blushing.

"Just how far are you two with the assignment?" Enquired Mr Banner breaking me from my stare.

I just looked at him dumbfounded unable to speak, but Edward began to speak for both of us.

"According to our assignment so far, we've reached the part of the tasks where we as a couple have to experience the more intimate part of that relationship, but I was wondering Mr Banner if we could have a little more time for this part of the assignment?"

Mr Banner just sat there making no sound at all thinking, but then broke the silence with a small cough and a grunt.

"Okay, I can give you two extra weeks on this particular task but no more got me?"

"Yes Mr Banner." I finally replied myself and I was also thinking why the fuck don't you do this assignment yourself and leave us the hell alone! I needed to reign in my anger as I would set myself into a panic attack and that's the last thing I needed.

"Okay, so I guess I will let you two kids go get along home." said Mr Banner.

I don't think I was ever glad to get out of a classroom as I was on those last few seconds I high tailed it out of my chair and to the door. I didn't even give Edward a second glance I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.

"Bella! Wait up please?" I heard Edward shout behind me, but I needed to be on my own for a while. I don't think he got the hint though as he continued to follow me. I didn't need to look around to know he was there, as I could feel that strange electricity around us. I ignored it though hoping he would get the hint. Just as I thought I'd lost him, I felt his electric charge grab my hand. He pulled me into a nearby classroom and I began to get a little apprehensive. He slowly pulled me further into the classroom and closed the door behind us.

"We need to talk Bella" He whispered in my ear sternly. I looked around, but there was no other way I could escape so I accepted defeat and followed him further into the classroom. It's about time you opened up to me a little more if we are ever going to finish this assignment.

I just looked at him unsure of what to say. I couldn't tell him of my past just yet. I couldn't, but from the look on his face I knew I couldn't stop from saying nothing.

"I... I'm just not ready yet please, I need time to sort though things."

He just gazed at me like I had a grown a third head.

"Why wont you let me in?" Even after what we have been through the past 2 months."

What was I supposed to say? Sure enough, I knew what I was feeling for him now I was in love with him, but at the same time I was scared of losing someone I loved. I was afraid of still letting him in, after witnessing what that fucker did to my Parents can you blame me.

He ran his hands through his bronze locks, waiting anxiously for my answer.

"Edward you know I want to let you in, but this is something I have to work out on my own, my own fucked up heart and mind needs time, I'm sorry, I really am. Could you please just give me more time?"

"You know I'm only asking you to let me in because I care don't you?" he looked so sincere and heart broken at that moment. It was almost too hard to resist him, but my heart and mind just wasn't ready yet.

He filled the distance between us, intertwining my hands with his.

"This shit is just so fucked up Bella, what ever this is between us we cant let our pasts destroy our future - for fuck sake."I have already let you in on my fucked up life and believe me it was fucked up till you came, I made mistakes that is unforgivable.

"I know that but I'm trying for us", I said.  
I unclasped our joined hands and brought one of them up to stroke his cheek and used my other hand to bring his face level to mine.

"Look into my fucking eyes and tell me what you see in them? I am being sincere but my heart and mind just aren't ready yet." He brought my face towards his and smashed his lips to mine. I barely had time to register my own thoughts. This kiss was less rougher than the other ones we shared, more slower, with more emotion and passion he was trying to show me what words couldn't. I instantly melted. He brought his hands to my waist and started backing me in to the nearest wall. Our kisses began to get more heated and I could only concentrate on the warmth of his body against mine, my hands found their way into his hair. Pulling on it for dear life. It was then the memories of what happened that night came flashing through my mind.

My Whole body instantly tensed up, I began shaking, the images playing through my mind like a god damned movie. My breathing was out of fucking control by now I couldn't do anything in that moment my legs, arms everything were frozen.  
All I could hear before everything went black was Edwards tear stained and panicked voice.


End file.
